What Lies Ahead
by ClarissaxJace
Summary: Emma Gray used to be the short girl with an attitude as fiery as her red hair. Soon that is all turned around, and as she puts the pieces of her past together, she discovers she is someone nobody knew was still around. She learns about the unknown, but more importantly, she finds that sometimes the greatest mystery is yourself.
1. Chapter 1

**_Hey guys,_**

**_ So this is my second story, but I deleted my first one because I didn't like it. I will write the stories and every week on Friday night I will publish a new chapter from my iPad. I don't really know how this website works so please bear with me! I do partake in various activities so I will write the stories before hand so I can make sure I can publish every week for you guys! I'm going to tell you right now that THERE IS CLACE. It won't be for the first 3-4 chapters, but secrets will be revealed and a red-headed character identity will come forward. Also THE FIRST 3-4 CHAPTERS ARE OOC FOR ONE CHARACTER AND SLIGHTLY OOC FOR JACE BUT NOT MUCH! Thanks guys, enjoy! TMI BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE! _**

* * *

My name is Emma Grey. I live with my foster parents, Amber and Mike Clark, in New York. I absolutely hate them. Every day they come home drunk. Amber just hits my blames me for causing their marriage problems. Mike attacked me one time, I beat him so bad he never tried anything again, except hit me, but I don't care. I makes me stronger. My real parents were murdered two years ago when I was fourteen. I will never forget the memory that haunts me...

_ "Mama! Papa! There is something outside!" my fourteen years old self screams. _

_ My parents come beside me and peer outside from the same window I stand before. _

_ Some people think I look like my parents, but I know I don't. I have curly -crazy- red hair that flows down to my waist. My parents have brown short hair and instead of my emerald eyes they have a bronze shade. Basically I look like a flame of fire and they look beautiful and proper._

_ I hear them whispering to each other. I catch a few words "He found us", "We have to get her away", and "We need to save her". They both inclined their heads towards me and my mom spoke "Get into the closet and leave the door open so nobody thinks you are inside, don't make a noise or move. You have to promise to keep going without us, you need to carry on. Please promise us if something happens you stay strong." Both my mom and dad hugged me and pushed me into the closet behind a rack of jackets. I was so confused but I knew better than to ask about what was going on. If they wanted me to know they would have told me._

_ "I promise" I whimper. I don't know why I said it even when I knew they couldn't hear, I just felt like I needed to._

_ I hear a large bang and a man's voice. "Where is she?" My mother then speaks and says "Do you like we would be so naive to hide the girl in such an obvious place? Pathetic. You will never find her Valentine Morgenstern." It seemed like maybe she said Valentine Morgenstern a little louder than the rest. Maybe to get me to hear correctly? No I knew nothing of this man probably just my ears._

_ The man cackles and it's an ear-piercing noise that still haunts my sleep. "We will find her Sarah."_

_ Through the small gap in between the clothing I see the direction of the mans body point towards my father. Unfortunately I can only see his waist below. "Mark, Sarah, I'm very sorry I have to do this." The two men that stood behind Valentine -that I didn't even notice- came out behind him. Each of them pull a glass looking sword and cleanly slit my parents throat._

_ I just watch I horror as my parents limp bodies simultaneously fall to the of blood fall on the floor in front of me and I slump in grief and sorrow. The only people I've ever know died before me. _

_ "Search the damned house. I know she's here." Demands Valentine. The three men walk in different directions and begin searching the house. _

_ My mother looks at me from where she lies in a pool of blood. 'Run' she mouths, and I do._

* * *

I hadn't realized I'd been crying. I hated feeling so weak, so vulnerable. I wipe my tears away and stuck my stupid red hair behind my ear. I've learned over the years to push back the memories of the horrible night my parents died. Still I couldn't help but wonder who Valentine was, who was he looking for, and who the two men who killed my parents were. However I vowed the day I was put into foster care I would find him, and kill him.

A loud rapping sound came from my door. "Emily Adele Gray,"-my real name-"hurry up and get your shit together. You have Karate."

Karate. The one thing that brings joy to my world. For some reason I'm actually half decent at it. The power in each of my kicks and the precision of my technique almost gives the impression I've been training since I was born. I started because my parents had insisted and it's like my other half. I also play piano, but I stopped when my parents were murdered. I don't trust people anymore and have a tough time adjusting to anything new, but I manage, because I promised I would.

I throw on a white t-shirt, my gi (it's the traditional training attire), my black-belt, my converse, and walk out of the hell-house.

I call my house the hell-house because I hate Amber and Mike. They're so rude and deceiving. They pretend they are saving me when all they do is abuse me until I lie bloody on the floor. I have plently of bruises to cover and always have to wear collared shirts and long sleeves. They disgust me.

I turn the corner -I only live about 5 blocks from the dojo- and scream. Before is monstrous spider starting inteventively at me.

"Hissssssssssssss- take, capture no eat. So delicious -Hisssssss. No, Valentine said no eat. Bad,bad."

"Oh my shitting raccoon. Wh-why-you talk?" The creature begins to inch forward and despite the terrified feeling going through my body I get into a fighting stance and hold my ground. I cant help but feel this is what I was trained to do. It approaches me and I spring into action. The creature moves at a ridiculous speed, faster than imaginable. I kick the creature in the face and it stumbles back I take advantage and continue to punch and kick the 'thing' until it regains it's balance. It springs and I am not fast enough it knocks me to the pavement.

I hear a scream full of pain and realize it was me. It bites my shoulder and it's tooth gets wedged into my shoulder; blood oozes onto the pavement.

I faintly see a glass looking object cleanly swipe the creature's head off. The creature's black blood spills on my wounded shoulder and burns my skin. Again I let out a faint scream and my vision blurs.

* * *

"Holy shit! Did you see her? She almost took out the damned thing unarmed!"

"Iz, news Flash, she's almost dead and you're going on about how she almost took out the demon? Wow sensitive."

"Why do you even care about her Jace? We should ask Magnus about who the hell this girl is."

"Oh so I can't wonder about this girl, but you can dream about your pookykinz?"

"Shut up Jace, don't bother Alec ab- oh shit look! She's waking up!"

My eyelids flutter open, I look at my surroundings. Im in a room lit by the minimal sunlight escaping through the curtains. There is many single brass beds neatly lined up. It kind of looks familiar. A tall slender girl with black hair stands before me. She looks model worthy, a little intimidating if you ask me. Beside is another boy who looks just like her-her brother probably- except for his sister is looking at me like I'm a lab rat while he's thinking of one million ways to torture me. Next to him is an older looking man. He looked kind enough. Wow. The other boy looking at me with almost no expression. His face was set but I saw a flicker of concern cross his face. Unfortunately for him, because I hid my emotions I've become particularly good at reading others. He was literally an angel. His golden curly hair and the perfectness of his jaw. And the one chipped tooth that somehow makes him look more beautiful.

"So," the older man begins "we will explain your situation later but for now we must heal your shoulder. Brother Enoch, please." Curiously I peer down to my left arm where a razor sharp tooth sticks out and blood is pooled around my arm. Well, that explains the drowsiness.

A man in a black robe steps forward. He pulls the hood back and I hold my breath. This man has no eyes, his mouth is sewn shut, and I can't help but hope he will put his hood back on. His face is also decorated in scars. For some reason I recognize each scar as if they were a drawing.

"Knowledge, Language, Growth." I blurt while my eyes narrow on the markings. "Uh, sorry." I avert my eyes and look at my hands, but I see all of the people looking at me. All but the hooded-man and the golden angel look at me with their mouths dropped.

The man I guess is Brother Enoch, nods and then speaks, well more like thinks in my mind._ I have many questions and many answers. However, I need to heal your shoulder miss Gray. 'I ask that all but Mr. Herondale exit the room. Mr. Herondale please restrain her from moving.'_

"Please Brother Enoch, my name has been Wayland for a long time not Herondale." Wayland. Why does that sound so familiar?

I should probably be scared to death that I'm in a place I don't know with complete strangers and some crazy sewn-mouthed man. But all I feel is comfort and familiarity.

Golden boy comes over to my side and looks at my apologetically "It's going to hurt like shit. But don't worry I'll protect you." He smirks and I swear that he could get any girl well ,but me, a little too cocky for my taste. Golden boy walks over to my side and holds me down. Brother Enoch then swiftly walks-more like glides- towards me with massive tweezers at hand. There is no emotion in his eyes, but somehow I find it comfortable, someone like me in the world. He inserts the tweezer thing in my shoulder and pulls the tooth out. The pain is instant and I begin shaking and sweating.

I scream and try to squirm, but golden boy restrains me. Not a moment too soon Brother Enoch finishes taking the tooth out and is now drawing something on my arm with the knife/wand/glass/glowing thing. I gasp in surprise and horror. Enoch gives me a vial.

_'Drink it, it's like a pain killer in the mundane world. I wouldn't harm you Miss. Gray, unless mandatory.'_

"It better not have roofie in it. Not really in the mood." At this Jace laughs. It's so melodious I can't help but wonder if he's seeing anyone.

"I've been know to make girls high, but only with my stunningly attractive looks. I'm Jace Wayland by the way." He smirks. "Just thought I'd let you know."

I smile at the thought that there might be many more people in the world as nice as my parents are-were. I slowly begin to shut my eyes and sleep takes control of my body.

* * *

Thanks for reading guys!


	2. Chapter 2

Hello,

I accidentally put chapter 12 up instead of chapter 2 lol sorry.

TMI BELONGS TO CASSIE CLARE

* * *

I wake up, suddenly alert of my surroundings. All the memories circle me; the demon creature, Brother Enoch, Jace, the old man, the boy, and his model worthy sister.

I look around the room only to find myself in a singular brass bed in the same room I was in the night I was awake. My shoulder is wrapped up in gauze that looks like it has just been changed. I slump back into the bed. I hear a creak and peer over my shoulder.

"Shit sorry, did we wake you Emily?" Says the beautiful black-haired girl. "God Jace your oversized ego probably made the whole house shake every time you stepped."

"My head is the perfect size." Jace grumbles, but is replaced with a look of worry. "So, how are you feeling Emily?"

"Uh, please just call me Emma. And where am I? I didn't get roofied did I?"

Jace puts up his hands in surrender "If you did wasn't me. Anyways,this is Isabelle, but just call her Izzy," he points at the girl with black hair, "and this," his pulls the other boy forward who has a look of disgust on his face. "is Alec. Yeah, not much compared to this right?" he gestures to his body. I look at him evenly. I may look calm and annoyed on the outside, but on the inside I know it's true.

"Anways," continues Jace. "Hodge, the older man, has a few questions for you. They won't hurt you though, don't worry. And you are not allowed to walk so," he wheels a wheel chair towards me." here! Apparently you're too weak right now."

He walks over to me and scoops me up in his arms bridal style, and places me in the wheelchair. He begins to push me in the wheelchair -with the exception of him stopping every few seconds to yell at Izzy and Alec- with Alec and Izzy trailing behind. We come to massive oak doors and when he opens the doors I am surrounded by hundreds maybe thousands of books.

"Welcome to the library." says Isabelle bluntly.

"No shit Sherlock." Jace mumbles and I giggle.

* * *

"Wait let me get this straight. I'm part of a race called shadowhunters whose job is to kill demons." I look at Hodge exasperated. Since 7am I've been listening to Hodge and his explanations of how Brother Enoch conformed, I was, indeed a shadowhunter. It was now 9am and the pain killers were wearing off.

Alec then strode in the room. I would have considered him very, very hot, but of course he preferred males. Alec made his way to Hodge and whispered in his ear. He shot me a look of empathy and left as quick as he came. Hodge looked at me with great sympathy glistening in his eyes "My dear Emma, I bear unfortunate news. Your foster parents, Amber and Mike Clark, have been killed by a pack of demons. I'm so sorry."

Even though after all they had done to me, they had kept me off the streets and helped me become stronger. But at the same time the terrifying memory of Mike attacking me the one horrid night still ate at my mind. "May they rest." I simply stated.

Hodge looked at my surprised and I quickly changed the subject. "So, are there any crazy shadowhunters that exist? Can that even happen, because we are made of angel blood?"

"Yes and there is currently a mad man running around the world killing off the downworlders. His name is Valentine Morgenstern he-"

"Valentine? That bastard! He killed my parents! He slaughtered them in front of me because he was looking for a girl! He killed them, it was him!" Tears flooded my eyes and I sobbed. "He's looking for someone. A girl, he's looking for a girl I don't know who it is, but that's why he killed my parents. T-They hid this girl, Valentine knew and he wanted her."

"Hm. I think we should bring you into the Silent City to see what the Brothers can do for you, plus Brother Jeremiah requested your presence." He raises his voice. "Jace!"

After a few awkward seconds of silence the sound of shoes came into hearing. "Yes?" Jace comes striding into the library. He looks as amazing as earlier in the day. Except this time he is wearing the black outfits I was informed was shadowhunter gear. "See something you like?" My cheeks flushed and I looked away hastily.

"I want you to bring Miss. Gray to the Silent Brothers."

He eyes me. "Okay let's go Gray." He strides out the doors and I struggle to catch up with my little legs.

By the time I catch up Jace is already opening the front door. "So," Jace begins as we walk out onto the busy streets of New York. "I don't want to sound rude or pry into your personal life. But, after Brother Enoch healed you, I noticed some..." He pondered for a slight moment trying to choose the right words. "scars, on your back. How did you get them?"

Caught off guard I stopped in my tracks. Should I tell him? He seemed like the kind of person that could keep and secret and I needed to get it off my chest. I've never told anyone about it. "Em, are you okay?"

Em? Did he call me Em? It probably didn't mean anything though. I started walking again and after a few minutes I finally said,"My foster parents, Amber and Mike. They had some marriage issues and Amber blamed me for them, hit me all the time." I paused wondering if I should tell Jace about how Mike attacked me only weeks before. I decided against it, only would I tell him once I truly trusted him. "Mike would whip me and hit me. I mean at first it was horrible, but I started to get used to he pain." I laughed bitterly. "I even got stabbed once, didn't even need to go to the hospital."

Jace eyed me. "How can you laugh about that?" I shrugged and he shook his head. "What about your parents?"

He hesitated for a split second. Jace didn't do the whole 'Oh my god. I'm so sorry. You poor thing. Blah blah blah.' I didn't like people's empathy I hated it when they tried to understand. Somehow Jace knew that it didn't help to understand, but just to listen and hear. "They were uh- murdered. Two years ago. By Valentine. I was actually raised by my father's friend Michael Wayland." He paused and continued. "Sorry Pippi, didn't mean to get all sentimental. It's just Alec was ease-dropping after he told Hodge about your foster parents, apparently you didn't react. I just put together the facts."

I nodded. "Its fine Goldilocks." Jace smirked.

"The Silent Brothers live in their own sacred city." He began as we approached a gate. I saw a man cloaked in a black robe beside the angel Raziel in the graveyard. I had been told about how shadowhunters worship Raziel and how they 'swear on the angel'. " It's called the Silent City." As we approached the man Jace looked at him. "Brother Micah, what a pleasure."

'Jace Herondale and Emma Gray I presume. Follow me.'

* * *

They had been led down a long winding set of stairs under the angel's statue. Jace had always stayed close the Emma making sure she was okay every second.

'Emma Gray please stand in front of the court.'

Jace looked at Emma and gave her a nod. She walked into the middle of the room. Marble flooring and walls surrounded her. The walls towered above her short height of 5'2. In front of her was four Silent Brothers.

'I am Brother Jeremiah, this is Brother Enoch, Brother Zachariah, and Brother Micah. Please state your name, origin, and where you are from.' Brother Jeremiah said as he placed the Mortal Sword in my hands. I has told by Hodge that the Mortal Sword would detect lies and if you lied, well actually, very few knew what would happen. (A/N: I changed what the Mortal Sword does guys, sorry...)

"My name is Emma Gray, I was raised by my birth parents Mark and Sarah Gray until I was fourteen. I was also fourteen when they were murdered by Valentine Morgenstern. Since then I have been living with my foster parents, Mike and Amber Clark for two years. I come from Upper-New York, but when I was put into foster care I lived in the dead center of the city." As soon as I finished the sentence a searing pain when through my body and I fell on the ground and in the process I dropped the sword. I slowly made my way back to my feet and picked up Mortal Sword.

'She lies.'

"Wh-what no! I didn't lie! That's what I was told and believed!"

'It is true the Mortal Sword did not hurt her again.' Sure enough it was true, I looked down at the Mortal Sword. It hadn't burned my skin again. 'Miss, we will need to search your memories to find what part of your statement was false. It is mandatory.'

"Oh O-okay." Somewhere in her life she had been lied to. Something kept leading her to the thought of how she looked nothing like her parents or how some evil shadowhunter had killed them out of no where.

'Then let us begin.'

A whirlwind of memories surfaced and Emma could see the lost memories of her childhood, but none before she was about 5 or 6.

'You are not who you think you are. The Silent Brothers will try to decipher your origin and lost past.' Brother Jeremiah then inclined his head towards Jace, obviously only speaking in his mind. When he finished all four Brothers exited the room.

"Well lets go we've got some work to do." Jace began walking to the staircase. I silently wondered what he meant by that.

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**Review, Favourite, Follow**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hellloooo! **

**All I have to say is enjoy and PLEASE READ MY FIRST ONE-SHOT IT COMES OUT TONIGHT! Oh, and I love you guys:) TMI BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE**

* * *

Jace had led us back to the institute and brought me onto the second floor. He stopped abruptly in front of a door that looked the same as the others lined up in the long dark hallway.

Jace gestured to the door. "This is your room, I went to your old house earlier in the day and got as much as your stuff as I could. Im just letting you know if theres something else you wanted, let me know tomorrow." I looked at Jace confused. "We're burning down your belongings the day after tomorrow, so no one can track you. See you tomorrow morning." He turned abruptly on his heel and walked down the hall disappearing in the shadows.

When he was gone from view, I opened the door to my room and walked in. It had plain cream covers and dark cherry wood furniture. I sat on the bed where a duffle bag lay. I opened the bag to find my art stuff, some clothing, and undergarments. My cheeks flushed when I realized Jace had said he brought them here. I realized, being Jace, he probably checked my size. Great now he knew I was only an 'A' cup.

I grabbed my sketch pad and began drawing. I looked down to see I had drawn a rune. As Hodge had explained they gave Shadowhunters 'powers', you could say. 'Fearless' I thought when I looked at it. I wrote fearless on the bottom and put it inside the nightstand drawer. I looked at the clock 11:54pm. I opened my bag and emptied its contents on my bed.

By the time I finished unpacking my clock read 1:10am. This was when I would usually get ready to sleep. I changed into my pajamas and fell asleep before my head hit the pillow. I woke up at 5:12am. I got up this early to avoid Mike. And let me tell you once I was up, I was up.

I walked to my bathroom showered, brushed my teeth, dried my hair, put it into a bun, and walked into my room. I quickly threw on a green tank top , running shorts, and black running shoes.

I walked out of my room hoping to go for a run. I ended up just lost in the halls. Of course.

* * *

After about five minutes of wandering around the institute I finally gave up trying to find the front door, I found the training room instead. There were beams, weapons,and punching bags inside. I immediately grabbed a knife and with the slight flick of my wrist it landed almost perfectly on the bullseye. After a few other good throws I decided to work with another weapon I chose the bow-staff. I started with a style of karate that dealt with weapons, the second style was for hand-on-hand combat.

"Well, guess I'm not the only gorgeous early bird here anymore." I would recognize that voice anywhere. "I mean of course you're not as hot as this, but whatever." I could literally hear Jace smirking. "How's the shoulder?"

I put the staff down. "It hurts I guess. I don't really care though, pain has never stopped me before." I walked towards the weapon rack and placed the bow-staff back. The whole time I felt a pair of golden eyes watching me intently.

He nodded in understanding. "So, why are you up so early?"

"I used to get up this early at Amber and Mike's." Because I didn't want to get abused so early in the morning, I added silently.

"Why do you say that?"

"Say what?" I tried raising one eyebrow, but ended up raising two.

Jace let a melodious laugh esacpe his lips. "You say Amber and Mike's, even though you've lived there for two years you still don't say home."

"It's not home, Jace, I haven't been at home for two years." I paused. " I don't understand how someone can let go of the ties holding you back."

"Because eventually you realize nothing will happen if you don't cut the ties, take a chance, and fall." With that, Jace walked out of the room. I knew what he meant. He had lost someone very dear to him too, and he knew exactly what was going on in my head. It should probably freak me out that someone I didn't know well knew me a lot more than I did myself, but because it was , it just felt warm and comfortable. He understood me, even when I, myself, didn't.

* * *

After about and hour of training I made my way to the kitchen. I fended for myself a lot of the time so I knew how to cook. I looked in the fridge and it's contents showed that someone here cooked a lot. I opened the fridge and made omelets for Jace, Isabelle, Alec, and I.

After making the omelets and setting the counter I heard a voice from the top of the stairs. "Is that good smelling food?"

"Alec, Isabelle is standing beside us! Don't you know what that means? She didn't make it! Is Maryse home or something? Food, edible Food!"

I heard three sets of footsteps. Alec and Isabelle looked amazed while Jace smirked and commented. " So she cooks too. I may have found a two-night buddy, maybe even three!"

I scoffed. "Who would want to be your one-night buddy?" Alec and Isabelle burst out in hysterical laughter while Jace put his hand on his heart and pretended to be hurt.

I heard Alec and Isabelle muttering things like, "Love this girl!", "Jace, think she deflated your ego.", and "First girl to ever resist the Jace charm.".

We ate our meal in quite. Apparently no one has had a good meal since Alec, Isabelle, and Jace's parents named Maryse and Robert -Jace's adopted- had been in New York and they are currently in Idris, home-land of the shadowhunters with their little brother, Max.

Jace broke the silence when he asked Alec for Magnus' phone number. Apparently the Silent Brothers had told Jace to ask Magus about me, and Magnus just so happened to be Alec's boyfriend.

Alex simply responded. "Magnus won't be answering the phone today he has a party tonight. He invited me though, I'm not sure he wants you guys to go though."

Izzy just rolled her eyes at this. "Whatever Alec, we're going. Emma lets go to-"

"Children!" Screamed the familiar voice of Hodge. He appeared through the corridor of the kitchen. "Is that edible food? Nevermind." He looked at me. "The Brothers have decided to train you as a shadowhunter from now on since that is what you wish. Jace here" Hodge pushed Jace forward. "will train you."

" That's right Em when we're hot and sweaty I'll be responsible."

I gaged. "Ew, Jace. Nas-TY! Sick minded freak!" Jace just winked in response.

* * *

**You find out who Emma is at the end of Ch4 and more is learned in Ch5. Also I know this was a filler, but the next one is full of K-I-C-K-B-U-M awesomeness!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey people. I'm not sure how I'm going to get the next chapter out for next week because I haven't started it… oops. If anyone has ideas for this story PM me because I don't have any ideas anymore. Thanks:) TMI BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE**

* * *

"O.M.G. You look hot. Like really, really, hot."

I made the mistake of letting Isabelle dress me up for the party. Apparently Jace and Alec waving their hands in the air meant, 'Holy Christmas shit! Do not let Isabelle give you a makeover.' if only I knew earlier. I've been sitting in the hard chair in Izzy's room for over four hours.

"Well, I wouldn't know how I look because you won't let me see!" I protested.

"Oh shut up and put your dress on. Then you can look in the mirror." I rolled my eyes but did as she told me. I quickly spilled on the thin black dress.

I looked in the mirror and couldn't believe what I saw. I wore a black dress with fabric pulling at my waist, making my chest look larger. On the pulled fabric the sequins were in a triangular manner. My hair was in beach waves and my green eyes were brought out from the dress. In other words I actually looked super hot. I laced up my heeled combat boots and shoved a seraph blade in my thigh sheath.

I looked over at Isabelle who smiled. Her black dress revealed a lot of skin in the back. Like a lot. But somehow Isabelle still managed to make it look as if it was a casual outfit.

Isabelle linked arms with me. "Let's go hotness." With that we walked down the hallway towards the stairs, arm in arm, where Jace and Alec were waiting.

* * *

Jace Wayland was gaping at me. The tiny, red-headed, short, freak. Isabelle was laughing beside me while Alec was smirking beside Jace. I blushed furiously, but then I decided to play with this oppertunity.

"Hey Jace, you'd better be closing your mouth. Don't want flies to go in there." I winked as I saw Jace close his mouth and smirk.

"Well," Alec stepped forward and opened the doors. "now that Jace is done being a pedophile lets go."

One after another we left for the party. About halfway to Magnus' Jace nudged me.

"You really do look amazing Clary, like really good. Damn, maybe even better than me."

I laughed. "Jace are you sick or something? You just said I might be better looking than you."

"I'll get back to you on that." I paused for a moment wondering what Jace meant by that.

We all walked in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, until Alec spoke.

"We're here." I looked up and saw a normal looking town house.

"This is where the amazing Magnus warlock of Brooklyn lives?"

Alec, Jace, and Isabelle laughed. "Has anyone ever told you not to judge a book by its cover, Clary?" Isabelle questioned.

We made our way up the stairs never ending flight of stairs -that escalated about two stories high, and knocked on the door. We were welcomed by a sparkly Asian man. His eyes were like cats peirceing the night sky. He also had a lot of glitter on. Warlock, my instincts told me.

"Alec, Jace, Isabelle, and…" He looked at me in shock. He was about to say something before he looked behind me, his face turned into fear. "Demon!"

Understanding what he meant I yanked my Seraph blade from my thigh stealth. I named the blade and cut the arm of the demon. It screamed in pain. Before I had time to stab it and make it return to its damned home-land, another demon from my side picked me up. It was about to throw me. Panicked, I kicked the first demon down the steps and grabbed my knife that I snuck in the chest of my dress. I clutched the demon holding me and stabbed him. Being me,

I failed to realize the 'thing' was holding me over the railing and when the demon died - and was returned to its home dimension, I fell about two stories.

"Clary!" I faintly heard Isabelle screech. "Holy Shit, Clary!"

I was deadly scared of heights ever since my best friend, Simon and I got stuck atop of the roller coaster at Fun-World. Damn mechanics. I miss Simon with my heart, but when I moved in with Mike and Amber I never saw him again. He ignored calls and texts and I felt deep down it was for the better; he was high-class and I was a commoner .

I was pulled out of my train of thought when I saw the ground approaching.

"Shit! Damn the Angel!" I then plummeted to the pavement.

* * *

"Clary? Are you awake?"

"Is she awake?"

"I don't know Isabelle why don't you kick her to see?"

"Oh shut up Alec."

I stirred. "Ow. My damned head." I blinked furiously and was met by the smell of blood. "Am I dead?"

Jace came into view and picked me up. "I know that's what most girls think when they see my amazing looks, but no. You fell two stories from Magnus' front steps."

Jace lifted me in my arms and brought me into Magnus' townhouse. We entered and I felt all eyes on me. People paved the way for us, well not people; downworlders.

"Gray?" An anonymous voice erupted through the crowd.

"Simon? Is that you?" I looked up and saw Simon in the crowd. "Si!" I never got to see his face after that because Jace carried me into the back room with Alec, Magnus, and Izzy trailing behind.

Magnus shut the door behind us. "Clarissa Fray. My dear Angel, I thought you were dead! Oh god, you are alive!"

"Who's this Clary you speak of?" Jace asked with an even tone.

Magnus looked at me in the eye. Memories flooded my mind; meeting Magnus for the first time, the last time I saw him, and how he showed up at my old home only hours before Valentine's attack.

"Magnus." I paused. "Magnus Bane! I remember you. I just- you were with me when my parents died!"

Magnus nodded. "So it did work. Welcome back Clarissa Fray, or I should say Morgenstern."

I looked at Magnus. "What? Clarissa Morgenstern-" As soon as I said the words it was like my mind opened out memories.

I caught a few. It was late and I sat beside a lady who looked exactly like me and the man who killed my parents, Valentine Morgenstern. I remember training for vigorous hours. The the lady who looked like me running away from our house never returning. Months later she returns and saves me from Valentine. The memories end there, almost abruptly.

I had a life before. "I am Clarissa Morgenstern. Daughter of Valentine Morgenstern and Jocelyn Fairchild. I remember everything. But how… could this be?"

Magnus looked and me so carefully. "Please, let me explain." All I could do was nod. This was my fate, my destiny, my life.

* * *

**Okay, I know. It was confusing and I KNOW. I promise in th next chapter it will all be cleared up:) FAVOURITE, REVIEW, FOLLOW PLEASE **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello!**

** 'I'm so sorry about not updating. I hesitated updating it because I really don't like this chapter. I left it for a few hours and when I came back my whole neighborhood's Internet crashed! Anyways here it is have a great weekend! TMI BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE**

We all sit in Magnus' library. The party had dispersed minutes ago. I sat with my head inbetween my hands.

Magnus spoke. "Tell me what you remember Clarissa."

"I was sitting in a parlor with Jocelyn and Valentine. There was a boy for an instant too, silver hair, I couldn't see his face though. One night Jocelyn left, she came back months later and took me here to New York. She took me to you, and after that everything is blank. I don't understand."

Magnus regarded me. "Please understand I did this to protect you. You are the daughter of Valentine Morgenstern and Jocelyn Fairchild. Your mother left that night and she prepared a life for you in New York. She asked old friends, Mark and Sarah to raise you."

I started to cry. "Why would she adandon me?"

"Valentine was looking for the Mortal Cup. He wanted to create demon-shadowhunters. Your mother had it so she needed to keep you safe. Valentine ended up tracking you down and we all thought you were dead."

"The boy, with the silvery hair, who was it?" I looked up at Magnus. "I feel scared of him. Who was he?"

"You had a brother Clarissa. Jonathan, was his name. Valentine injected him with demon blood and therefor he doesn't have feelings. He is being held in Idris, they are trying to find a cure."

It was silent for a long while. Isabelle put an arm around me, but surprisingly I didn't cry. I just took it all in.

I almost forgot about Jace and was torn through my thoughts when Jace asked Magnus a question. "Both times the demons attacked her she was so fast. The first she almost took it out without training. This time she killed two fiel demons before I could blink. How is that possible?"

Magnus laughed. "Well Herondale, some people are special. Just like you Clarissa has been injected with angel blood. The only difference is she is different. She can create runes."

I jerked my head up. "I can. I created a fearless rune."

"Impossible," Alec glared at me. "Only angels can make runes. Clarissa is no angel."

"Actually sweetheart," Magnus replied evenly. "She was injected with so much as a little girl, she has just as much as Jace. Of course her fighting abilities are dimmed a little because she has the ability to create runes."

I closed my eyes. "I am Clarissa Adele Morgenstern. My brother is a demon, I'm an angel. My mother is somewhere on this earth, my father is trying to capture or kill me. My life is a lie. I don't know anything."

"Quite accurate." Magnus stood up. "Feel free to stay here for the night. Goodnight children." Magnus got up and kissed my cheek and whispered. "Trust nobody but us Clarissa. Come by whenever you need to." I nodded and Magnus shuffled away.

Alec, Jace, and Isabelle left and I just sat on the couch taking everything in. Everything is a lie. I cried for hours straight. Once in a while I stopped and tried to think of my life. Was I going to meet my family one day?

I heard the door creak open, but I knew who it was.

"Come on Em-Clarissa. Let's get you to bed." Jace walked over and picked me up. He brought me to a small room in the back of Magnus' house. "It gets better. The lies don't go away, but you'll learn to cope." Jace laid me on the bed and sat in the chair beside me holding me hand until I fell asleep.

* * *

"Rise and shine delinquents!" Magnus screamed from the hallway.

I opened my eyes and found myself in the same room last night something was different though. No jace. I slowly got out of bed.

My head started pounding and I kept loosing my vision. "Fu-"

"Now, now, no need to cuss." Magnus stepped into the room. "How did you know Mr. Daylighter?"

I looked at Magnus in puzzlement and sat back down on the bed. "Who's that?"

"Simon, the only vampire that can walk in the sun?"

"Simons a vampire!" I swung my head up and a nauseating feeling corded through me. "Since when?"

"Since your adopted parents died. He got attacked on the street and Raphael Santiago turned him."

"I didn't know." I looked up at Magnus. He held out a heap of black clothing. "What's that?"

"Shadowhunter gear. It'll protect you from ichor blood. Here's your mother's old stele."

Magnus opened his hand to reveal an almost wand-looking item. It was black with a rudy on the hilt. "It's beautiful."

Magnus nodded. "Now go eat, you leave in ten minutes."

I knew now was my only chance. "Magnus!" Magnus turned around. "Why can I only remember bits and pieces of my old life?"

"When I put the spell on, you have to understand it was quite complicated. I had no choice but to make it so when you see or feel something it triggers your mind to release a certain memory. Now, go eat."

* * *

I walked downstairs in my new shadowhunter gear. I sat at the table and ate a precooked omelet that looked like it was made for me.

"Well, Mrs. Clarissa Morgenstern. How are you?" Jace walked in with Isabelle and Alec strolling behind him- all in their gear.

"Fine."

Jace took the last piece of my omelet and ate it. "Great let's get back to the institute and call a Silent Brother."

"Why didn't we go back last night?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "Have you ever heard the term 'the demons come out at night'? Yeah, they're not joking." Alec glared at me.

"Who pissed in your cornflakes?" I eyed Alec back.

"You."

Jace stepped in between us. "Seriously guys, we're going to miss sunrise. And yes Clarissa, demons like sunrise even less than the sun. C'mon let's go."

* * *

We walked about halfway to the institute when Jace broke the silence. "So, how are you doing?"

"Don't really want to talk Jace." I walked just a tad faster for emphasis. "Wait, who's that?"

I looked up and saw a lady, man, and a black carriage.

Jace walked beside me. "Maryse and Robert."

'_Clarissa Morgenstern, we have much to discuss_.' I turned to Brother Enoch.

"So you knew."

'_Yes_'

"Well, isn't that a little shit-head."


	6. Chapter 6

Hey 0.o

I know wtf you're late! So listen I just had my birthday and I got a new laptop and I have a major exam on Friday:( so next week there wil be no chapter! so sorry guys! TMI BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE.

* * *

After a long conversation with the Silent Brothers I sat alone in my room. They had said Valentine was looking for me. He was using demons to deliver messages and he was hunting my mom at the same time. Nobody knew where he was, but he had sent a message to the Clave saying if I didn't come out of hiding he would destroy humanity. He said when I loose I will know where to go. I have no clue what he is talking about.

I got up from the small cherry-wood chair I was sitting on an laid on the bed. I rolled sideways and listenednto the crickets and owls filling the night sky. After the Silent Brothers left I went upstairs. Maryse, Jace, Alec, Isabelle, and Robert stayed in the library and talked in hush voices. I closed my eyes and a rune played in my eyes. It looked like a straight line with two symmetrical lines descending from each side.

I got up and walked to a small closet that was right above the library. Carefully I drew the rune on the floor. The floor turned to glass and I could hear their whole conversation, a one-way rune I guessed.

Maryse, Robert, Magnus, Brother Enoch, and another man sat in the great library. Maryse spoke, "She needs help Magnus. She doesn't trust many people, but she trusts you."

Magnus nodded. "I considered staying in the institute for awhile, but even for dear Clarissa I don't think I can stay where I am not wanted. I can offer her to stay with me while you and Robert go to Idris. Alec and Isabelle can stay here and watch over the institute, Alec is eighteen now, it's his duty to watch the institute

Robert shook his head. "No, what about Jace? We leave for an hour and he drags his half-dead body home. What will happen for a week?"

Magnus turned to look out the window. "He can stay with me as well. So it's settled, Clarissa and Jace will stay with me while Robert and Maryse go to Idris for a week. Alec and Isabelle will watch over the institute. Miss. Morgenstern will be under full protection."

All the adults in the room nodded in agreement and they dispersed. Magnus stayed back and waited for the others to go until he spoke. "It's a good thing you missed the important things Clary. Now Maryse is going to tell you, pretend you know nothing and go back to your room. Oh, and next time don't use magic to eavesdrop on a warlock."

* * *

I walked back to my room and resumed in my precious position on my bed. I closed my eyes as if I was sleeping and not even seconds later an expected knock came from my door.

"Come in." I called towards the door and I sat up.

Maryse strides into my room and effortlessly sat in a chair. "So Robert, and I are going to visit our youngest soon in Idris tomorrow morning."

I nodded and faked a smile. "That's cool."

"The Calve and the Brothers have decided we shouldn't leave you unattended. As a result you will be going to live at Magnus' for a week, with Jace."

I snorted. "Why with Jace?"

"Well isn't that quite rude. You know most girls would jump at the opportunity to be in the same city as me, let alone apartment." Jace laughed from the doorway and walked in my room.

"Again why him?"

"Well, leaving Jace alone for a week would cause a lot of trouble."

Jace shook his head. "Never trusting after the Eildon demon thing are you?"

Maryse, obviously getting angry, looked at Jace. "You came home covered in- Nevermind. But Jace will also be following you around while we're gone just in case something happens. Now come on you two everyone is in the kitchen." Maryse got up and walked out of my room.

I laid back on the bed and looked at the ceiling. "Why is life so unfair?" I turned my head to see Jace standing beside my bedside.

He smiled weakly. "It's not unfair Clarissa Adele Morgenstern, it's complicated."

I laughed and took Jce's outstretched hand and we made our way to the kitchen.

* * *

Jace and I walked into the kitchen laughing and I smiled at Magnus, Maryse, Robert, Isabelle, and Alec. But the mystery man who was in the library caught my eye. 'Luke' my instincts told me.

Suddenly images flooded my mind. It wasn't the same as the other flashbacks though. This was forceful, almost as if the memories needed to be released and were flooding out of me at immense pressure and speeds.

I remember seeing him as Valentine's parabati. The next Valentine hands him a knife and tells Luke to kill himself because Luke turns into a werewolf on a full moon. The birthdays he missed after that, and the days spent feelings felt like how you should love your father.

The memories became much more intense and I screamed as the pressure in my head increased. Soon my knees buckled underneath me, but the memories never stopped. I screamed and withered once more. I gripped something beside me. I cried once more in pain before I realized the memories were no longer in my head.

I opened my eyes and saw I was in a room very similar to mine, except this room was flawless. Jace sat beside me on the bed gently stroking my hair.

"It's okay Clary. It was just flashbacks Magnus will be here soon."

I felt a warm liquid seeping through the side of my shirt. I turned my head and saw the blood. "Jace! Oh my god my side!"

Jace jumped off the bed and jogged to the dresser where he pulled out a stele. He drew my shirt up just enought to see the wound.

He drew an iratze and immediately I felt better. He walked swiftly back to the dresser and threw a black shirt at me.

I looked at him expectantly. "Well, are you going to turn around or what?"

He smirked and turned his body to the wall. He put his hands on his eyes and I rolled my eyes and quicky threw off my pants and shirt and slipped on Jace's shirt. It was literally a dress on me.

Right after my Jace-dress was on, Magnus burst through the room with Luke behind him.

"Luke!" I ran up to him. "What happened? I remember Valentine found out you had got bit by a werewolf and he told oh to kill yourself you never came back! I thought you were dead!"

Luke pulled me into a hug. "I'm here Clare, I'm here."

I averted my eyes to Magnus. "Why did that happen Magnus? Why did it hurt so much?"

"Because Clary you had very strong emotional connections to Luke. When you are very tied to a person the spell holds the emotions, and when the memories come back you are given back your feelings you had for them. For Luke there was many because you thought he was dead so you were mad, but he was basically your father so you were elated."

I nodded. "So every time I get a memory back I get a piece of me back? That's… a lot to take in."

"It very much is."


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey,**

** I know it's been a longgggg time since I published (15days) but its been hectic and in the next two months things are going to be crazy! I'm really behind in a lot right now and I'm thinking whether or not I should take a short hiatus (at the most skip one or two chapter weeks). I haven't decided yet because I want to try and stay committed! TMI BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE**

I sat on my bed and went over my mental list of things I needed to bring to Magnus'. Jace and I left tonight for his house tonight.

I've been seeing Luke every two days now. He explained he saw my mother not too long ago and told him to give me a ring. The ring was golden with small letters engraved on the side. I wondered. . what it was. A family heirloom? No, she wouldn't risk someone finding out my true identity. I put the ring back in the small case and shoved it into my bag.

Let me tell you, carrying a crazy heavy duffel bag and walking down a flight of stairs, not a good idea. As I was walking down I had to lean of the opposite side of the bag to remain balanced. While trying to focus on balancing my foot got caught on the edge of a stair and I went tumbling down.

"Ow. Shit." I opened my eyes and there stood everyone except Maryse and Robert who've already left for Idris.

Jace started laughing. "It's Tumbleina. She can all the way from buffoon-ville!"

Isabelle's face scrunched up. "Who says buffoon anymore? Weird hooligan."

Jace rolled his eyes and said too perkily. "Who says hooligan anymore? Weird buffoon."

Isabelle's face got really red and just on time Alec stepped in. "Really this fight is quite amusing, but" Alec gestured to the open portal. "It's time for you guys to leave. Bye bye, won't miss any of you."

Slowly I sat up and walked to the portal. First I threw my duffle bag in and then I jumped in myself. I began surrounded by rainbows of color and felt like I had done this one-million times before. All too soon I saw a small patch of grass approaching. I bent my knees and prepared to land.

* * *

I would have landed gracefully if it wasn't for Jace. As soon as I was about to land his bag fell atop me. It knocked my to the ground and Jace fell on me.

"By the Angel, Jace! What's in your bag?"

I felt Jace get off me and grab his bag. "Just the usual, knives, seraph blades, daggers, all the good stuff."

Slowly I picked myself off the ground and rolled my eyes. "Idiot."

Jace shrugged and motion for me to follow him. We walked up the stairs to Magnus' where just previous nights ago I was attacked by demons. A shudder passed through me at the memory.

"Are you okay Pippi?" Jace looked at me from the corner of my eye.

"Fine, just thinking about the demons."

Jace nodded in understanding and opened the door to Magnus'. He motioned me to enter and he followed closely behind.

The house was very bright, and very shiny. There was a small light in the study and two voices. One was Magnus' voice the other seemed very familiar. Being the curious person I am, I walked towards the door and opened it. Magnus sat in a chair with his feet crossed and in front of him was my ex-bestfriend Simon.

"Si!"

Simon turned around and beamed. "Clare! You're okay! You know about the supernatural world? How Do you know dick-head?" Simon glared at Jace who smirked.

Jace stepped forward. "Well daylighter, I prefer the term handsomely beautiful god, but whatever."

"And I prefer being called by my regular name, not day lighter." Simon sneered.

I gently put my hand on Simon's shoulder. I saw Jace flinch from my peripheral vision. Jace flinch? No. Mind tricks, must be. "How do you two know each other?"

Jace laughed. "Oh yeah, funny story! Simon is dating the very well know Isabelle!"

Simon blushed furiously. "We're not dating. We're hanging out."

"Simon! You have a girlfriend? I wish you called more, then I would have known."

Everyone in the roomed stiffened even Magnus. "Clary, I need to tell you something," Simon began. "I'm a vampire, the only that can walk in the day."

* * *

"I think I'll just leave, come on Magnus." Jace and Magnus left the library with our bags.

"I already know. You're a freaking vampire and you never told me!"

"Well its not as if we talked much…" Simon trailed off.

I laughed none too humorously. "Well who's fault is that, eh?"

"Well, what did you won't to say Clary! Hey Clary, I'm a vampire who can walk in the sun. You're moms alive. Those were never your parents. You are a supernatural being? I've know everything since I was eight!"

" You knew who I was?"

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You were never supposed to know! That's why I left! I didn't want you to know!"

I felt the stinging feeling you get when you're about to cry. I pushed the tears back. I would no longer let people see my weaknesses. "I loved you Simon. Through every foster house you saw me being abused and you pretended to care. Your love for me was false. I remember something, you know. Valentine taught me something; to love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be the one destroyed. Through all the worst I never go it. But now I do Simon. Burn in hell you damned creature!"

"Just like your father. Kill the downworlders."

Something in me clicked. My mind spun and I was suddenly different. "Valentine is not my father. I am not the shy short weird art chick. We may look the same, but we are not. Looks can be deceiving, don't forget that."

"Deny it all you want but you want us dead."

"No, I want you dead you god dammed cheat."

* * *

I walked of the room and as soon as I was away from Simon. Everything settled in. I suddenly walked into something large. Jace.

"Come on, Clary."

Jace grabbed my hand and led me outside. As soon as we were out of the cramped house I emptied my stomach. Jace didn't look away disgusted but held my hair and said nothing.

"Why, Jace! Why me?"

Jace pulled me close. "I don't know." he squeezed me gently. "I really don't."

* * *

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	8. Chapter 8

Boo,

To answer everyone's question, yes I am indeed alive. My hand is still broken and I need to get a bone put back in place so I may be in a cast again:( So worth it though. So that means there is a possibility I may be on a hiatus from this story! But I have been working on maybe a six or five chapter story which I really enjoyed writing. Soon my wonderfuls I will come back strong. I've also had a massive boredom period… for like three months… anyways I update every Friday now and ENJOY! TMI BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE

* * *

I slowly I eased myself in a sitting position. I looked around at my surroundings. Glittered walls and gem-stone decor. Magnus'. I dragged my aching body out of bed and went to the kitchen for food. I stopped abruptly when I heard Magnus and Jace talking.

Jace stood at the counter with a pissed off vibe. "What the hell Magnus! You promised Maryse you would look after Clary."

"And I will Jace. From Paris." Magnus rolled his eyes. "I finally have time with Alec! His parents are gone so we're leaving for some time alone."

I thought Magnus and Alec had something going on. They were always sneaking glances at each other. But I remember Valentine said in the shadowhunter world being with someone of the same gender was not looked upon friendly.

"Fine! But what happens when Clary gets in trouble? What happens if she finds out Magnus?" Finds out what? What are they hiding?

"I already told you Jace, she won't remember. I sealed that memory. She can't excess it. You'll be fine, okay?"

"Whatever." Jace started to leave the kitchen and I panicked. I climbed onto the ceiling and held my breath. Jace didn't seem to notice me as he walked towards his room.

"Clarissa, I know you're there. You have a problem with eavesdropping don't you?"

I jumped down from my hiding spot and walked into the kitchen. "What memory did you seal, Magnus?"

Magnus shook his head. "It's better if you didnt know, you would be devastated if you found out."

"It's my memory Magnus! I deserve to know."

"Clary, I know it's yours, but think about it okay? I've lived a long time Clary. There are many things I wish I've never seen or never knew about, but I cannot take them back."

"Magnus…"

Magnus waved his hand in dismissal and walked out of the room.

Again I was pulled back into a memory. I remember Valentine slapping me. He said "I will hurt you, I will punish you, but it will make you strong, I will make you indestructible".

* * *

"Bye dearies!" Magnus waved from the portal. "I'll call you tonight. Don't get into any trouble!" Both Jace and I waved at Magnus and Alec as they stepped into the portal.

"So what now, sir Jace." I sat on the couch and looked over my shoulder at Jace expectantly.

"Well, we have six days locked up in this place-"

I whirled around. "What do you mean 'locked up'?"

"Magnus put a spell on the house so nothing can get in or out, including us. Anyways in two hours we will train until nine then you can do whatever you want and then we'll train after dinner again."

"Aren't you heaps of fun." I sat up from the couch and walked into my room. "I'm going to sleep I'll be up in time." Jace nodded as I shut my door.

Magnus had waken us up at 3am because that's when he was leaving for a vacation with Alec in Paris. Alec wanted to go to Peru but Magnus laughed and said 'I don't think i can.'

I was exhausted as I lay on my bed. I absentmindedly started at the ceiling.

"Why couldn't I just be normal?" I thought about and realized how easy life would be as a mundie.

Going to high school. Having the drama classes or art classes. The enimies and friends. When you think the worst things in this world are when you can't go to parties. When the world seems so easy casual.

But maybe easy is boring. I learn about the unknown, the mysterious. They know nothing. They kill their own race when they could be fighting the true evil. Could mundanes be the evil for killing their own kind. Stop, I tell myself. I will not think like Valentine. I shall never stoop so low.

Slowly I found my eyes becoming heavier until I fell into a deep slumber.

* * *

"Pappy!" I ran to the door as Valentine stepped through it. "You're home, where's Luke?"

"Clarissa, you know Luke is a werewolf. He is not coming back."

"I know Papa. I've missed you ever so much. I love you."

I felt a sharp pain surge through my body as Valentine back-handed me. "Clarissa, have you already forgotten your most important lesson? To love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be the one destroyed. Love is no good. Love is evil."

I nodded and as soon as Father turned away I soothed my swelling cheek. 'Do not show your pain or weaknesses.' He once said.

Later in the day I was sitting on the carpet drawing pictures. Well actually I'm pretty sure five year olds draw scribbles. I was drawing Luke. As a werewolf of course.

"How dare you disobey my orders!" I whirled around to see Father standing in the corridor. "In the basement!" His yell seemed to echo the house.

I quickly ran to the basement where he soon followed. He grabbed a whip and began to hit me. "I will teach you respect."

"Jace!" I found myself screaming. "Jace help!"

"Clary I'm here." I opened my eyes and looked around. Where was I? "It was just a dream."

"But it wasn't, it was real. I remember."

" Magnus did say some memories would come in your dreams Clary."

" Yeah well I don't like it." I paused. "Well I'm going to get ready for training." I averted my eyes and looked at the floor.

"Yeah, okay." Just as Jace turned around I called out to him.

"Hey Jace!" He looked at me. "Thanks."

* * *

As I threw on my gear I thought of something Magnus said. If a memory came in the form of a dream it meant they had emotional ties to me. Magnus also said I would know whether a memory was a memory or a mind game.

I thought about the dream. I had called out to Jace. Could it be the Jace I knew now? No, I would have had memories flow back to me as they did with Luke. But if it wasn't my Jace, who was it. My memories could not be altered, so I was calling for someone I cared dearly about. Someone I trusted enough to call for. The only question now was who is it? Who is Jace?

* * *

Thanks for reading3 REVIEW, FAVOURITE, FOLLOW! Thanks


	9. Chapter 9

**Heyyy, :D**

** So here is the story! YAAAAAY I'm on time. Okay so I'm officially out of writers block and I can't stop writing! I'm looking to maybe release a three shot in the next… two months? I have so many series lined up after this one is done so stay tuned and maybe I'll put a small summary of the next series on my wall next week? Only if you guys want though! TMI BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE**

** Enjoy everyone!**

* * *

"I can't. Just… just leave, m-me. Save... save yourself!" I wheezed as I fell on the grass.

"Can't. go. on." I tried to pick myself and failed miserably.

"By the Angel Clary! It was just a warm up!" Jace stood in front of me holding out water.

"Water, water…" I pointed to my mouth and Jace rolled his eyes. He turned the bottle upside down and drank at least half of it. He pretended to hand it over to me when he squirted the rest in my face. "Jace!"

He laughed. "Catch me if you can, Clary!"

We must have run for hours until I suddenly fell to the ground and a memory surged through my mind.

* * *

It was like the memory was there but wasn't. I only got pieces of it and it was so foggy. A boy with golden hair was running through fields and fields of flowers with me. I didn't know who this boy was and I didn't feel any feeling about him. It was like he was there as only a physical image.

My mind was everywhere. The physical aspect of this memory was far worse though. I couldn't feel my body because I was so numbed in pain. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't leave the memory.

Valentine then appeared behind the boy. He grabbed the boy by the collar as I coward behind a rock.

I gasped when the boy turned towards me. He had no eyes, no ears, only a mouth.

'Goodbye' he mouthed.

* * *

"Clary, Clary! Come back!"

Slowly my vision came back. I was inside. On a couch? No, a bed. In a glittery room in Magnus' house. Gold. There was something golden in front of me. The boy in my memory? No, Jace. Magnus is here too.

"Jace? Is that…" I was suddenly very tired. I felt my eyelids close and I would have given into the battle if it wasn't for Jace.

"No! Clary we have to bring you to the Silent Brothers. Stay awake Clare-Bear." Jace whispered.

"Clare-Bear?" It sounded so familiar. So common.

"Clare. I have to tell you something. Today the Silent Brothers will give all your memories back. Including the erased one. It's hurting you. This will hurt too, but Magnus said its time. It's time for you to know."

"Jace I don't know what you are talking about."

"I'm so sorry Clare, I'm so sorry."

"Okay children." Magnus entered the room. " It's time to go to go."

* * *

I awoke to Brother Enoch standing over me. '_Clarissa Morgenstern, we will be proceeding with a remembrance ritual. It is the only way to help you. We will begin now.'_

I stood up to find I was standing in the middle of the Silent City. A thought occurred to me. "Jace! Where Jace and Magnus?"

_'Warlocks are not allowed here; this is a place for shadowhunters. As for , he is right there.'_ Brother Enoch turned and pointed to Jace.

"I'm so sorry Clare." Jace stood in the corner of the room.

_'Let us begin. This will be the most painful thing you've ever endured.'_

I nodded and stood in the center of the Silent City and closed my eyes. At first it was okay, my mind was black, no memories. Slowly I felt an increase of pressure in my head and the black started to fade away.

It couldn't have been very long into the process when it felt like my mind snapped. Whirlwinds of emotions, pain, and memories encircled me. I tried to stay standing but soon fell to the cold floor.

I screamed and dropped to my hands and knees. I could feel the sweat trickling down my body. I screamed out in anguish. 'Stop' I tried to say. But no words escaped my mouth, only a wheeze of air.

Almost instantly all the pain subsided. I stayed on my hands and knees and coughed until I couldn't. I stayed like that for maybe hours or minutes until Brother Enoch spoke.

_ 'It is done. Welcome back Clarissa Morgenstern'_

* * *

I closed my eyes for a minute. I felt different, more known to myself. I understood what I could do. I thought for a second. I could speak many languages, seven fluently. I remembered Jonathan. I saw Valentine and my mother in love. Well, Valentine was in love anyways, mother was faking. I felt new, I understood myself.

I tried to stand but I was so tired. My hand touched the cold marble floor and as I tried to lift myself up I fell to the ground. Someone ran over to me and pulled me into the person's arms. A male.

"I'm going to get Magnus, Clare." The voice, oh the voice. Melodic as it was, it sounded so familiar. Jonathan Herondale, my long lost -and only, friend. "I'm so sorry Clare-Bear."

I was about to say it was okay, but I slowly felt my eyelids become very heavy and I fell into a dark, deep sleep in Jace's arms.

* * *

Slowly I awoke. I was at Magnus' house, that much I could tell. I eased myself to sit up and found Magnus beside me.

"Hello Clarissa." Magnus smiled brightly. "Welcome back."

"Stop playing games Magnus, wheres Jace?"

Magnus chuckled. "I thought you would want to see him."

Magnus left the room as Jace walked in. For a moment we said nothing. I just played with my bedspread. " I thought you were dead. I thought Valentine killed you."

Jace nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry for not telling you, Clary. I wasn't even supposed to talk to you. He found us playing together and he moved me into another manor. After that, your mother found me. Jocelyn brought me here and I've been living with the Lightwoods ever since." Jace paused. "I thought my real name was Wayland, Jonathan Wayland. It wasn't, the whole time it was Herondale. Jonathan Herondale." His eyes flickered with misery.

"You could've told me Jace! I spent the rest of my life at the manor soaked in misery, damn it!" I sobbed. "I don't care though, he took my life away from my and I will do the same to him."

Jace looked like he wanted to comfort me, but didn't know if he was allowed. I realized it wasn't just me who suffered, but him as well.

Seeing me everyday must have killed him. He remembered me, but I didn't. "Why didn't you let Magnus keep my memories of you?"

He paused as if it hurt him so much, which I doubt he was faking. "I watched you through magic for years, Clary. Everyday at Valentine's you would be so upset. When I found you again you looked different, happy almost. I couldn't take that away from you." He looked into my eyes. "I'm sorry Clary."

In that moment I knew he meant it. I smiled and motioned for Jace to hug me. When his ear was next to my mouth I whispered silently to him. "I know."

Then he bear hugged me me. It was like every worry in my life dissapeared. It was only Jace and I. And together we could do anything. Even destroy my father, Valentine Morgenstern.

* * *

Jace spent the rest of my recovery days in my room. Sleeping on the couch at night and talking in the day. When Magnus said I could finally get out of bed, I knew what I wanted to do.

I jumped out of bed and ran into the training room. I knew how to use every weapon in here with exquisite technique. I ran to the seraph blades and the knives. With accuracy I practiced my technique. By sundown I was exhausted and took a shower. I was about to go to sleep when I heard a faint knocking at my door.

"Clary, are you awake?"

I opened my eyes and found a replica of myself standing before me.

* * *

**~I really hoped you enjoyed this! I appreciate each of you!**

**~Let me know if you have an idea for the story! You would gefull credit for the idea!**

**~Thanks everyone! Have a great weekend!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey,**

**So I have been working onsome stuff. And here comes the news I'm already in the dark again. Shit. Luckily though I've already written up to chapter 12! Bam. So yah:)**

**TMI BELONGS TO CASSIE CLARE**

* * *

I paused and chose my words carefully. "Hello Mother," I looked into her emerald eyes. ", long time no see." Something abut my voice seemed… different, more in charge, more secure.

"Yes, well desperate times call for desperate measures."

I rolled my eyes. "I agree my darling Mother." I sneered. I sat up in bed and went to stand, but a severing pain shot through my body. I must have worked myself too hard yesterday. 'Never show weaknesses.' Valentine once said. 'It'll kill you.' "If you will excuse me I have things more important to attend to."

Jocelyn grabbed my arm. "I'm here to help you know! To help destroy Valentine."

I ripped my arm out of her grasp and threw her on the floor. My anger radiated from me. "Don't ever touch me or tell me what to do! You've lost that right a long time ago!"

The door burst open and Jace, Maryse, Luke, and Magnus ran into the room, weapons ready.

"Clarissa Morgenstern! Don't not ever talk to me like that again!" Jocelyn got up and grabbed my hair. "Understood?" She sneered into my red hair.

Quickly I grabbed her wrist and flipped her I was about to go in for a final punch when Jace grabbed me. "Stop Clare, this is what she wants; she wants you mad, to show your weakneses." Jace whispered into my ears.

I regained my composure and smiled brightly. "Hey Jocelyn, don't do that again. Or would you like me to call you Mother."

I walked into the living room followed by Magnus. "Well, that was awfully rude."

Magnus gently put his hand on my shoulder. Pulling out one of the fuzzy chairs be motioned for me to sit. "Clarissa, your mother is the only person who can help us."

"Help us with what?" I looked up as Jace and Maryse walked in.

Maryse looked at me ever ly and chose her words carefully. "To kill Valentine, Clary. To kill your Father."

"Let me guess, we'll try and lure him here with his lying bitch ex-wife." I stood up and knocked my seat backwards. "Dd you see her? Did you? She's an excuse of a mother. I will never, ever except anything from her. She ruined me, she ripped me into so many pieces I can never put myself back together."

I grabbed a plate from the counter and threw it across the room. It smashed into the wall and shattered. "That is what I feel like. Luke is a liar too you know. Always a suck up to her sorry ass." I smiled viscously. "Her little lap dog. She never gave a shit, using each person she met for herself! Luke only came back to lure Jocelyn here."

I looked into the corridor. "Come out Mother dear, bring out your lapdog too, I know you're there." Slowly they both emerged from the shadows. "Let you both rot in hell you disgusting, vile creatures. Let the angels curse you forever. I know I will."

* * *

Jace followed me outside and I didn't even shed a tear, I was ice. "I guess this Clary doesn't have a big heart or a short temper, huh."

"No, I guess not." Jace looked at his shoes. I looked out beyond Magnus' back porch. What lies out there? How much of this world is unknown to me?

"I'm the person aren't I?" I never looked away from the mountains in the distance.

"Sorry?"

"When we first met, I knew you lost someone close to you, I felt it." I sat down on one of the chairs, Jace did the same. "It was me, wasn't it. You had to see me everyday and it killed you. You know, with me never knowing who you were."

"Well…yeah, yeah it was. I watched you until you were fourteen, Clary. But someone erased you from all of the tracking spells. For a long time only Clarissa Fray existed. There was no Clarissa Morgenstern."

"I always felt like I was missing something, that something was wrong." I looked into my fiddling hands. "I know it's wrong, but I kind of wish I could see my brother."

"What's wrong about that?"

"He's a demon, I'm supposed to kill him."

"But he's also your brother."

"Jace, why did I have memories of my childhood with my… kind-of-parents? Mark and Sarah, I mean."

"Magnus created them." He said nothing more. That part of the conversation was over. He probably had something to do with it.

"How long did I live with Valentine and Jocelyn?"

"Until you were twelve. To answer your next question, I lived with you until you were ten."

"Okay, let's go inside. My dear mother has some explaining to do."

* * *

I sauntered into the kitchen. The floors creaked beneath my strides. "Mother dearest! Come out and explain yourself."

Slowly my mother emerged from the shadows and joined everyone at the round table.

"Tea?" Magnus offered.

"Always so kind aren't you Magnus? I've missed you." Jocelyn smiled at Magnus mockingly.

"You see Jocelyn," Magnus began. ",usually I don't take things personally, but shut up. Why are you here?"

Jocelyn smirked. "Have I really caused you all to hate me this much? Jace, what about you? I saved you."

"I saved myself." Jace looked up from his coffee and into Jocelyn's emerald eyes. "You abandoned your daughter, your friends, and yourself. You are not the same Jocelyn. What happened?"

She sighed. "I dabbled with dark magic. It consumed me." She looked at me in the eye. "I'm here because I want revenge on Valentine."

I sat up and dared her. "You will never make it right Jocelyn. You're dead to me."

I turned around to walk to my room when she called after me. "I know how to fix Jonathan. I can give you brother back."

"Whats the catch."

"None. Come, sit."

I did as she said and returned to my previous seat. I looked at her expectantly.

"He needs the blood of an angel."

I was shocked was all my brother in need of was my blood? "So my blood can save him?"

"No, no. You are no angel Clarissa. You are a semi-angel as is Jace. You need the blood of a pure angel."

Jace laughed. "So you give her false hope. No one has seen an angel since my ancestors met one centuries ago!"

"Not so true. There is one in the basement of the Wayland manor. Go on now, save your brother, I will be here when you get back." She looked as if she was contemplating something. "And Clarissa, I'm sorry I don't live up to your imagination. When this is over don't except me to see me again."

* * *

**Mmkay so if you liked this go read my one-shot. **

**Thanks everyone, have a great weekend ane please REVIEW, FAVOURITE, and FOLLOW**


	11. Chapter 11

** So here's chapter 10! I'm writing chapter thirteen now and I had to start it over three times because each time I would finish and then the file would disappear. Damn. Anyways enjoy.**

**Tmi belongs to Cassandra Clare**

* * *

Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have excepted much of Jocelyn, but she saved Jace and I from Valentine! How could I not expect a hero? However she didn't even want to be here. She didn't even want to see her daughter.

After Jocelyn spoke those insults I went on auto-pilot, only answering questions when I had to. Finally I managed to slip into my bedroom. I wasn't expecting any sleep, but I did want to rest. Of course my mind wouldn't let me, though.

I lived in foster care and horrible places for so long. The only thing that kept me going was the sense of something. I couldn't explain it but it felt asbif someone was looking over me telling me, telling me I have so much potential so I shouldn't end my life. So that's when I got back on the boat. I tried harder, better, and crazier, than ever before.

I guess it was Clarissa Morgenstern was at the back of my mind telling me I was a shadowhunter. I guess that makes sense. The person who you really are telling what you really are even though you didn't know the real you barely existed. Okay, maybe I'm thinking about it too much. It just doesn't feel like it was my subconscious. It felt like someone was talking to me. Like having a one way telepathic conversation. Yup, that makes sense.

"Clarissa?"

I craned my neck to look at who entered. "Hey Maggie."

"Dont call me that."

I giggled. "So if you're here to tell me-" I panicked and stopped breathing for a second. I literally couldn't talk. Then I tried to stand up but I couldn't. I make a what-the-hell face and gesture to Magnus.

"Sorry you're too persistent. Just listen okay." I eyed Magnus but it didn't seem to faze him at all. "Jocelyn has involved herself in the dark magics. Dark magics takes decades perhaps centuries to be able to use without side effects. Jocelyn used it and it's effected her sympathy levels. I'm going to work with her to heal her but… it takes time. She'll be staying with me so Maryse thought it would be better if you moved back into the Institute."

I nodded and smiley brightly at Magus. I disguised my curiosity. Why had Jocelyn been involving herselfn dark magics?

There was no time to dwell on my curiosity because Magnus opened his mouth, thought better of it, then closed it again. "Jocelyn has called a meeting I thought you would like to attended."

"Why?"

"She knows how to save your brother, Jonathan."

* * *

We all sat at a round table which Magnus had brightly told us 'Round tables suit me much better than square.' Typical Magnus. I looked down at my coffee a stirred it with my straw. Maryse's phone rang a horrendous sound startling me and I knocked over my coffee.

"Ow. Shit. Wow, wow that's hot." I bounced up from the chair and practically sprinted towards the faucet, surprised to find someone was already turning on the cold water for me. Goldilocks. I pretty sure my face turned ten shades of red.

"Some extra talented shadowhunter she is." I heard Jocelyn mutter from the kitchen.

"You okay Carrot-top?"

"Carrot-top?"

Jace smirked and grabbed a lock of my red hair. Twirling it in his fingers he smiled at me. "I'm sorry you remind me of a carrot-top."

"Actually im pretty sure a carrot-top is green. My hairs not green." Way to ruin a moment Clary. I blushed furiously again. I barely noticed that a single tear rolled down my face. My eyes threatened to let more escape.

"Let's go outside." I gave Jace a look of agreement and we slipped onto the small patio.

Jace slide onto the small bench and patted the empty spot beside him motioning for me to sit there. "What's up Clary?"

"She hates me Jace. She hates her own daughter."

I looked into Jaces eyes to see the shield that he put up all the time was no longer there. "She doesn't hate you, Clary. She's just confused from all the dark magics she used."

Hesitantly I looked back into Jaces open eyes. "Have you noticed that you're showing emotion right now?"

"Im not incapable of feeling, Clary. You show emotion with me so I though I'd return the favor."

I mumbled so quietly I didn't think Jace would be able to hear. "Yeah, well you have that effect on me."

"Do I now?" Seconds, maybes minutes passed before he spoke again. "Look at me, Clare."

There was a hint of desire in his voice. I just couldn't help myself. I looked into Jace's eyes and after such and agonizing time he leaned in.

Just the tiniest fraction of an inch away I pulled away hastily, bumping into his head as I stood up and backed away.

"What the hell? If you didn't like me you could have just said so!" He was about to open the door when I stopped him.

"I-I-I'm so s-sorry. I-I," Great the stutter from when I used to live with Amber and Mike came back. "I-I'm s-scared."

"Of what? That I'm going to freakn' rape you?" He said it because he doesn't know. He doesn't know, I kept telling myself.

Tears threatened my eyes. I've already hurt him enough, I might as well just tell the truth. "Yes, I-I'm afraid."

* * *

"What?" Jace stood frozen staring and me wide-eyed with his left hand still on the door knob. "Why would you… Clare, what at happened?"

I never took my eyes off and focused on the task ahead and not the tears threatening my eyes. "Mike, my previous foster father."

Jaces eyes glared with an emotion that I rarely saw. Pure and utter rage. "What did he do, Clarissa?"

"He was a little emotionally unstable. And, well, he was very drunk and upset one night. He tried to do some things." I looked down ashamed.

Jace strode over to me. I felt warm, familiar arms wrap around me. "How far did he go?"

I grabbed Jace's shirt like a lifeline. "He kissed me a bit." I closed my eyes and decided Jace didn't need to hear the details. "Regardless, he didn't get as far as you think. I beat him up pretty bad."

"If that bastard was still alive I'd man slaughter him." Jace just hugged me tighter.

"I have no doubt. Jace I trust you. I just-" I paused and chose my words with caution. "You could do so much better, Jace. You're gorgeous, kind, and amazing, but I'm just dirty. I've been assaulted by so many people. I used to be broken, useless. I just wanted to let you know who I really am."

"You want to know who you really are?" Jace spoke lightly in my ear. "You're beauitful, carefree, happy, stubborn, and strong both emotionally and physically. You don't realize how great you are Clare-bear. You're too good for me. I've done some things I'm not proud of and I've had a hard life, but you… you defy logic. You should be crushed, heartbroken, but you're not. You're so strong, Clare."

I hugged Jace once more. "Are you sure you want me? Out of every single girl in the world?"

"Yes. Are you sure you want me? Out of every single man on this earth?"

"Yes, yes I'm sure."

"Good. Now wipe up those tears carrot. We have to find out how to save your brother."


	12. Chapter 12

** Hi,**

**I KNOW THE FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS HAVE SPACES INBETWEEN THEM I CAN'T FIX IT! I have nothing else to say so enjoy and… au revior.**

** TMI BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE**

* * *

I noticed right away, Magnus had a weird look on his face. Something between the lines of empathy, sorrow, and…pain? It finally occurred to me that Magnus had heard both Jace and I's conversation. Oops.

Now wasn't the time to worry about the though; I needed answers and I needed them now. "So," I looked across the table. Jocelyn sat staring at me with no emotion. "how do I save my brother?". Jocelyn took a small brown straw and mixed her tea. "You need to give him the blood of an angel."

"Is that all? I just have to give Jonathan my blood?"

"No you idiot girl. Blood of a pure angel. Pure as in full."

I was confused for a minute before I realized what she meant. "Where can I find an angel?"

"In the basement of the Wayland Manor. Your father, Valentine, kept the angel in the basement for years. Beware though, child; the angel is tied to the house. If the angel escapes the house collapses, making it nearly impossible to get it's blood."

Somehow I just I knew Jocelyn knew how to get the angel-blood. "How do you get the blood, Jocelyn?"

A miscevious glint was in her eyes. "You have to sacrifice your life, child."

The whole room went silent. "Why me?"

"You have the blood of a Morgenstern. Once Jace escaped the manor Valentine brought an old warlock in to cast a spell, so only those of Morgenstern blood can enter the grounds. The warlock is so powerful that even Magnus is unable to break the spell. It would be best if you did it tomorrow night. It's a full moon, that means you'll have more chance of escaping, more energy." She stated as if she couldn't care less.

My eyes narrowed in on hers. "Why do you care if I live or die?"

Something flickered in her eyes. It gave me hope, maybe she wasn't lost. "I don't, but they do. I'm in favor of Maryse and Magnus, I owe it to them."

"Fine. I'll do it to save my brother." My voice came out confident and strong.

"Clary, you can't do that it's a death trap!" Maryse looked at the others to back her up, but no one said a word.

Finally Jace broke the silence. "She has to Maryse. He's all she has left."

* * *

We discussed our strategic plans until around midnight when Jace said he'd drive me back to the Institute. We made our way to the car and as soon as we got in I spoke softly.

"Are you mad at me for putting my life in jeopardy?" I couldn't meet his eyes, but I could sense the disappointment.

Jace sucked in a breath and contemplated his thoughts. "No, I've done it before in my past. I think I'm just worried that you might not be here in twenty-four hours."

"Jace we cant think about it that way. I'll see you every morning and kiss you every night, forever." I paused and looked at Jace's face. The street lights made his golden eyes glisten. "I-I think I might love you…" Gaining enough confidence I said it again. " I love you Jace, I love you."

I saw the ends of his lips curve. "I love you to Clarissa."

We stayed in a comfortable silence the rest of the way home.

Once we finally arrived at the Institute I was half asleep when Jace said something. I mumbled a response. I was trying to say, 'Yeah, whatever.' but it came out as 'mmmmh whaawerr.'. I heard him chuckle and he lifted me into his arms. Okay so I'm not going to lie, I was awake now 100% awake. Of course I wanted this moment to last so I pretended to be half-dead.

Slowly Jace layed me down on a bed. The delightful scent informed me it was his bed. I heard a drawer open and a warm fuzzy sheet was layed on me. I heard him go to exit the room, so I called out to him.

"Jace!"

"Mmhmm?"

"You keep referring to your past, but you never talk about it. What happened Jace?"

I felt the bed tip a little from Jace sitting on the edge. "I was raised in the Wayland manor as a baby and toddler. Valentine injected me with doses of angel-blood because my father was his ally, a friend. Soon though, he died from an Eildon demon. Valentine took me in and treated me as his son for the first few bmonths. Then reality hit hard. Valentine saw the mark on my shoulder. It's something all members of the Herondales have because we were once touched by an angel. Michael Wayland had told me it was just a scar. He lied, Clary. I thought Michael was my father, but he was an imposter. Then I became friends with you and Valentine didn't like that, so he moved me back to the Wayland manor."

"We tracked records and such and soon learned I was indeed a Herondale. My father died before I was born and then my mother died during birth. Im the last Herondale."

I started at Jace in shock. I wasn't the only one who had a hard life. He could relate to me, understand me. I smiled lightly and lifted the blanket motioning for him to lay beside me. Once he was settled I laid my head on his chest and his arms was around me stroking my hair. Gently he kissed the top of my head.

"Goodnight strawberry."

"I like that more than carrot, definitely an improvement Goldilocks."

With that we both fell into a deep slumber. My dreams were non-existent as I lay in Jace's arms

* * *

The next morning I woke up slowly. As I went to preform my morning ritual of stretching I smacked something. Startled I grabbed the blanket, and in a panic fell out of the bed tangled in sheets.

"Clary?"

I literally face-palmed myself in the moment. Of course, Jace and I fell asleep last night. My face must have turned a million shades of red. I let go of the blankets and quickly untangled myself in a hurry.

"Hey Jace…" I scrambled to get my thoughts straight. "Morning."

He smirked and looked at me from the bed. "And why, may I ask, are you on the floor?"

"Uh…" I Stood up and hastily fixed my hair. I seriously wanted to kill myself just to get away from me being a total embarrassment. "I dropped my phone and got tangled when I was trying to get it."

"I see. Well I have to get ready, I'll catch you later okay?"

"Yeah, I'll uh, see ya." I scrambled to get out of his room without dying of embarrassment."

"Oh and Clary!" I turned around and Jace picked up something black from the nightstand on his side of the bed. "Your phone."

Jace tossed it to me and I stood there dumfound."T-thanks." I opened the door and ran through the long dark hallways of the institute.

The only noise was the creaking of the floors and the sound of my foot steps. When I got to my room I fumbled with the small lock. When my shakey hands finally managed to open the door I fell onto the floor. I was such a screw up! Why didn't I just tell Jace the truth?

Sighing in embarrassment I looked over at the clock. It was already 3:48 and we had to be at Magnus' for 5:00. I was so scared to go to the Wayland manor. Both Magnus and Jocelyn said though it was uninhabited, Valentine had released demons to guard the house from anybody like us.

I have to wrestle all those demons alone. Why you might ask? Because only those of Morgenstern blood can freely pass through the doors of the manor and technically Jocelyn isnt of Morgenstern blood, but of the Morgenstern family. So, I'm alone, again.

* * *

I climbed into the car with new shadowhunter gear on. I had a black tank top on with my black pants made out of special fabric, it was tight and durable but oddly flexible. My weapons belt was fully loaded and on my hand was the small golden ring Jocelyn gave to me.

I thought about it a lot over the last few hours I had at the Institute. Magnus had said the dark magics had interfered with her mind, bringing her to a place for the evil. Maybe, just maybe, she was once a great person. Because the more I thought about it the more I realized how much she gave up for me. After a long while of contemplation I decided to wear my ring because even if I got the angel-blood, I'd have very little chance of making it out alive for the house would collapse once Ithuriel had no blood left in his system and perished.

The plan was foolproof. I get into the house race to the basement get all of Ithuriel's blood and then lock it in a steel box. That way when I the house collapses the blood will be saved. Even if I'm not.

* * *

**~I really hope you enjoyed it! **

**~Review, Favourite, Follow**

**~Talk to you all next Friday**


	13. Chapter 13

**Helllllloooo,**

_** I DON'T have anything to say except thank you for your continued support and I love you guys! TMI BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE**_

* * *

I hesitantly opened the door to Magnus'. This could be my last time here. I would be strong, though. I have made it through so much, and now, I just couldn't give up. Not after all that's happened. The demons will have to try harder to bring me down.

I walked through the foyer and met everybody in the library. They were all there; Isabelle, Alec, Magnus, Simon, Maryse, Robert, Jace, Luke and Jocelyn. I smiled weakly and a short unemotional memory surgeries through my head.

Valentine was in a small chamber with me. Whipping and slashing me repeatedly.

"Listen to this important lesson, child. Yes, there are demons we kill. But there is one demon in particular that will kill you if you don't kill it first. Do you know what it's called? Your inner demon. Kill it Clarissa, kill it."

I opened my eyes again and found myself in Magnus' library. Kill my inner demon. I never did complete that lesson because I found I never really understood what it was. What is my inner demon? I pressed myself to stop and concentrate on the mission ahead; I had to do this.

"It's time." I looked up at the people ahead of me. Although I have not known Isabelle, Alec, or Jace for too long, I have become very close to them. Maryse and Robert were the parents I always wished I had; they were always so kind and caring. Even though Simon and I might not be fond of eachother right now, he was like my brother. I couldn't leave with a grudge held against him.

Magnus was the sparkly friend you'd think about in dreams. The one who knows everything. He's been the one who's understood throughout my whole time of hopelessness. Even Luke who I may have said some awful things in a rage, I would miss him. He is my father. Jocelyn might not be herself right now, but she's my mother. She's the woman who's protected me in the shadows.

And then there was Jace. He was beautiful and wonderful. Always hiding from the good and emerging in the evil. He was wise and thoughtful, but still stupid and ignorant. And his smirk that emerges whenever he has one of his moments. The way his golden hair shimmers in the sun. He would be the last person I would ever forget. The last person I would want to forget.

Slowly I made my way down the row of people hugging and saying kind things to each. When I got to Simon I stuck my hand out for a shake. The unspoken question was there.

"Hi, I'm Clary it's nice to meet you." Really I was trying to say 'Can we start over?'

"Simon Lewis. It's nice to meet you too." I smiled so brightly and jumped into his arms and unscented body.

Next was my mother. "I know this isn't you Jocelyn. I've read about you and all the wonderful things you've done for everyone. So that's why I refuse to believe this is really you. Goodbye mom."

Something flickered in her eyes too fast for me to see. "Who said this is goodbye? And it's good to see you're wearing the ring. Don't take it off." Then she hugged me and whispered n my ear. "Come back, Clary. You get the blood and you come back."

Jocelyn released me and pushed me to Jace. I looked at him through teary eyes. Jace wiped them away with his calloused thumb. Without words he shrugged off his leather jacket and handed it to me. He pulled me into a hug and whispered in my ear. "I love you."

"I love you too." With I all the courage I could muster up I smiled. "I'm ready."

* * *

The drive to the Wayland manor was excruciating long. We had to portal far outside of Idris so so one could detect us and then drive for three hours. Finally we came to a clearing in the woods. A towering stone manor came into view. It was so well hidden in the trees for such a big thing. It kind of reminded me of a prison.

Our group got out of the two SUVs and walked up to the gate. This was it.

Magnus closed his eyes and when he opened it he had a poker-face. "This is as far as we can go. Good luck." Everyone else nodded their goodbyes and tried to look strong.

Jace was the only one who pulled my into a massive hug and kissed me. "Remember what I said in training, Clary. You can do this, you will do this."

I nodded once and slide my seraph blade out. "Gabriel!" I shouted.

Now I was focused and ready. With my blade and hand and a dagger in the other I walked through the doors of the Wayland manor.

* * *

The grey and brown on the walls reminded my of a grim prison. One with no prisoners that is. I just couldn't imagine the little golden ball Jace was running through this creepy place. I was one high alert as I passed each hallway of the manor. Carefully scanning for any demons. Still none. A noise in my head pulled me out of my thoughts.

'Clarissa, how are things going in there?' The familiar voice of my mother in my head freaked me out.

'Fine, but how are we talking… telepathically right now?'

'The rings. I enchanted them with magic. Check in soon.'

I hugged Jace's jacket around my body. I knew what Jocelyn meant by magic. She enchanted the damn rings so I could get Jonathan, but sacrificed her soul. I hated her for caring so much.

'Found the library. Check in soon.' I thought to Jocelyn.

I clutched my glimmering glass blade tighter in my sweaty palm until my knuckles went white. I'm my other hand I grabbed my small angelic dagger. Slowly I crept in the library with my eyes scouring every inch of the dark room. I was about to lose my guard when a Moloch demons leaped out from the shadows.

I hit the demon with the tip of my blade and it recoiled. It went to advance again, but I cut the head off, just like Valentine had taught me. I paused and looked around. Wherever there was a Moroch demons there would be many more for they tended to hunt in packs of 5. Just as I had suspected more demons leaped from the shadows attempting to get a fatal blow. As fast as they came out they were all caught in the in-between world. Thank you Clarissa Morgenstern.

I was surprised when only a few more demons came out of the shadows. If I had an angel in my basement I would be protecting it a lot better.

Making my way to the bookshelf behind the desk I examined it carefully. Jace said the book was a dark blue. With all the dust I could hardly make up any of the colors the minimal lighting didn't help. I was pondering what to do when a rune came to mind. It was small but it was very detailed and precise. It was a finding rune.

I took out my beautiful glowing stele and held it to the bookshelf. I carefully drew the rune into the dark wood. The handle and the smooth lines of my stele felt so natural now. I removed my hand from the now finished rune. The rune was shimmering blue and was spreading throughout the shelf. The whole shelf set of into blue light. I looked at it with awe, never have I seem such beauty.

The light subsisted and I held my breath hoping someone would happen, and for a moment nothing did. Sighing I looked around for any source of light. That's when I saw -out of the corner of my eye, the one small book on the shelf thatnwas glowing blue. Smiling in triumph I pulled the book and stepped back.

The shelf swung open revealing a stone stairwell. I unsheathed my seraph blade and summond it once again. Tentivily I crept down the stone steps. With every small step my combat boots would clank and then the small stone pebbles would fall down to the next step. Gripping the seraph blade tighter I felt the demons nearby. Powerful ones, harmful ones.

"My angel Raziel, please let me save my brother. If anything he deserves to have a life. He deserves to feels what it is to live without the blood that demolishes his spirit and virtue. If it means I must sacrifice my own life then so be it. Please." I whispered into the misty room. I pulled out my witch light with my left hand and looked at surroundings as I came to a landing. I was at the bottom of the staircase. I was so close to the angel.

And the back of the cold stone landing was a cell door. As I approached the door I sensed the demons even stronger. Then to my disgust a greater demon appeared. the black shadowy figure was swirling around, toying with me, because it wasn't just any demon. It was Agramon

. The demon of fear. The demon who kills you with your greatest fear. If you survive your greatest fear his spirit dies, but then you must fight his physical form. But he is the demon that has killed more than imaginable.

* * *

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	14. Chapter 14

**Helllooo,**

**Please, Please CHECK OUT MY STORY THAT COMES OUT MONDAY! I don't know what it's going to be called, but I do know it's rated M, because of swears and suicide. It's a four chapter story each chapter very, very short but comes days day after day:) So I'll see you all on Monday. Thanks everyone!**

**TMI BELONGS TO CASSIE CLARE**

* * *

The room suddenly got very cold. I watched as Jace, my mother, Isabelle, Alec, Luke, and Magnus all walked down the steps one at a time and each line up before Agramon. Each of their faces were stone and had no traces of emotions. There was note even the slightest movement. I was so confused; why were they down here?

"No!" I cried at the top of my lungs. The sound of my cries reverberated throughout the small dark chamber. "Run! It's Agramon, he'll kill you, run!" I ran over to them and shook each of them. Not even a single movement or even the blink of an eye. They stood in a perfectly straight in line while they stared at Agramon. "What have you done you monster?" I screamed and grabbed my mother's shoulders and shook her violently. Still nothing.

Agramon then moved to the first person in line, Magnus. He looked into Magnus' cat-eyes with his green and sucked the life out of him. Magnus crumbled painfully at his feet.

"No!" I ran to Magnus and picked up his lifeless body in my frail hands. Shaking incontrolably I stood up and faced Agramon.

"I'm going to kill you for that." I grabbed the seraph blade tighter and swung at Agramon. Nothing happened, the blade when right through him. Thats when I remembered this was all an illusion. A trick in the mind.

By now Agramon had already killed Luke, Isabelle , and Alec. But to see them lying on the ground like that it was so real. More tears spilled from my eyes as I fell beside each of them. Gripping them hard I looked up to see Agramon had moved beside my mother and I got another memory.

My mother and I were running through the woods. I was about twelve years old and scared. We heard screams and the hisses of demons through the bushes, but we kept running. We were running from something. No, not something, Valentine and Jonathan. My mother had come back and saved me. Even when she was free, my mommy came back.

"Momma! No, please! Mommy, mommy don't leave! Fight him!" I ran towards her but my knees buckled underneath me. I was helpless. "Mommy!" I screamed as the last of her soul was drained out. I crawled to her and combed her red velvet hair, sobbing uncontrollably. Tears spilled out of my eyes at outrageous speeds.

I looked up to see Jace in front of Agramon. Standing up I looked Agramon in the eye. It's just an illusion, I told myself.

"Kill him, Agramon, and I will kill you." But he didn't even flinchv he just giggled deviously.

"Try me, sweetheart." Agramon smiled mischievously and began sucking the life out of Jace.

"Clary? Clary, how could you? You let us die while you save yourself? I hate you. How could I ever love someone like you?" Jace looked at me as he began to crumble. "I'll always hate you." Then he died a horrible, gruesome death. I clawed at Agramon and screamed for him to bring him back, to do something.

But his words were true. They were dead while I did nothing. While they suffered the most terrible death anyone could ever have. A voice echoed in my head.

'Can you really live without them? Could you live knowing you did absolutely nothing but cower as they die? You should die.' The demonic voice in my head stated bluntly.

I should shouldn't I? How could I ever live life again; I had no purpose at all. Slowly I sank to the ground and hesitantly grabbed Jace's golden hair. Looking into his eyes I cried harder. His body was a frozen corpse.

If Jace could live anymore than neither should I. I picked up my fallen dagger and put it to my heart. The tip of the sharp blade poked at my chest, dark drizzles of blood began to form a puddle on my shirt. I was about to let myself drive it through my heart when dropped the metallic dagger. It clanked on the floor three times before it settled. I would live for them. I would live because they couldn't anymore, I would live their lives for them.

The bodies on the floor disappeared and then the only thing in the room was Agramon. I survived my greatest fear. Picking myself off the ground I looked at the demon. All I had to do was kill it. I would kill it, and I would save my brother.

* * *

I gripped my seraph blade until my knuckles went white and stared straight ahead, at Agramon. The demon's piercing green eyes clashed with my own. It's razors sharp teeth clanked against each row in his mouth.

I lunged forward and got a small cut in the Demon's abdomen. He retracted and jumped on me, knocking us both down in the process. We fought on the ground for a while, punching and hitting each other. I went to go slice with my blade when Agramon grabbed it and threw it across the room. I reached for my weapons belt in hopes of a dagger, but not before the demon ripped it off me and threw that as well.

Knowing that I now had no chance the demon stood and walked towards me, gleaming in triumph . With his razor sharp teeth he bit into my core. I screamed in pain as the demon-blood touched my skin and his teeth sank into my flesh. Agramon spoke inside my head.

'Im going to enjoy watching you suffer. You'll die a slow, painful death, Morgenstern.'

A sudden flash of a rune entered my mind. It was an 'X' with a smaller 'O' in it. Remembering my stele was in my back pocket I hastily drew the rune on my arm. I knew what would happen. All the demons in the room would die, but as a sacrifice, so would I. Grabbing the stele in my sweaty palm I traced the rune quickly. The demon looked at the finished rune in see.

'What is that? It's unlike I've ever seen!'

"I created it. It means Sacrifice."

For a second the demon didn't clue in, but as his facial expression changed, and I knew he got the memo. I smiled wickedly as the rune on my arm began to glow. Agramon dissapeared and left a patch of ashes on the floor.

I closed my eyes waiting to except my death. I called to Jocelyn trough the rings.

'Im dying. There has to be a loop hole so someone else can get into the manor. I-'

'Dying? Clarissa what happening?' I knew my mother was panicking and though I wanted to comfort her, I couldn't; I was just too weak.

'Goodbye.' And then my world when dark. Almost as if I was sleeping. Just as I thought I'd reached the end of my journey a massive, blinding flash of light fell before me. Opening my eyes I saw it was no longer dark, but white. I remember reading in the shadowhunter codex, that white meant death.

* * *

Opening my eyes I saw someone standing in front of me. Well, not anyone the angel Raziel. I would recognize his face anywhere; shadowhunters had many statues of him.

"Raziel, where am I?" My head throbbed and I cautiously sat up, flinching in pain at each little movement.

"In heaven, Clarissa. The only problem is you are not supposed to be here, not yet." Looking down at me in the white bed he smiled slightly. "You're very special, Clarissa."

"No, I'm a freak. I'm not a regular shadowhunter, I'm not a regular mundane, I'm no downworlder, I'm a freak of nature. One of my own kind, aside from Jace."

Shaking his head, Raziel smiled slightly as if mocking me. "You are not a freak, Clarissa. You are special."

"You're just sugar coating it." Chuckling he continued on as if he never heard me.

"Do you know why you can create runes, or why Jace is such a great warrior? Yes, you have extra angel-blood in you, but the angel-blood you have coursing through your veins is from the same angel. Should that not mean you have the same gifts?"

Thinking about it now, the thought never occurred to me. It was true that Jace and I share the same blood from Ithuriel, the angel hidden in the Wayland manor, but the rest of my blood had come from Raziel, from when Jonathan Shadowhunter drank from the mortal cup just like Jace. "I don't know, Raziel."

"Sometimes stories are altered throughout the years, huh. It's been a while since I've last visited earth. When I gave my blood to Jonathan Shadowhunter, so he could raise shadowhunters, I told him that each family he intended on changing had to be somewhat tied to an angel. Not all could be tied to me for that would make an unbalance in the world. So he asked some lower angels and some higher, but because he created the race I became tied to him and his family."

"Well, why doesn't anyone know about this? It's never been mentioned." I asked with curious eyes.

"Don't you think Jonathan knew that those who were descendants of the lower angels would be treated differently from those of the higher? He just wanted everyone to be equal. But I told him there had to be a way, for when the time came people might need to know their capabilities. Agreeing, he asked me for assistance. We came up with the idea that the shadowhunters only had to believe they were truly a part of us angels, and a mark would appear. And throughout the years I've only seen a few people discover the marking, even then, they had no idea what it meant."

I looked at Raziel with doubt and I shook my head. "No, you would have told people what they were; you are the angel that gives hints about the holy world, you would have said something."

"Doing you homework, I see. But unfortunately, with each generation the shadowhunters have come to hate us angels, Clarissa. Thinking we cared nothing of them. That was not the case, because people started disbelieving is us we lost a lot of connection and it wasn't until recently that a few angels could actually go see their marked ones and guide them."

I did make sense, but he really hadn't shown me any proof and totally deflected my question about why Jace and I had different powers. "Well, that is all well and good, Raziel, but you still haven't told me why Jace and I don't share the same abilities."

"Because, my dear, you and Jace are marked from different angels, and the blood of Ithuriel only activated those abilities. See for yourself who you are from, Clarissa."

Closing my eyes I inhaled and exhaled. I did believe that the angels cared and helped us, but I guess not to the extent that I hoped. But maybe they really just couldn't do anything about it. I mean I was with one of the most worshipped angels of all time and he was telling me about the history of shadowhunters. I did believe, I really did.

Opening my eyes, I saw the vivid marking on my wrist. It wasn't a rune or anything like it. It felt like a part of me. The marking was on my sweaty palm and the beautiful mark was almost shimmering with the angel's name written in cursive black in the middle of my palm. I really couldn't believe it. It was extraordinary.

"Each angel has a different mark. No two marks will ever be the same."

Smiling at Raziel, I kept looking back at the marking. "This is beyond amazing. Thank you for showing me this.'" I paused not knowing if I should ask not. Screw it. "And who is Jace's angel?"

"One of the most powerful ever, my dear. It is time for you to go now. You can tell people about the marking, but not how you know. It is not your time to depart from the physical realm yet, so I will send you back, but no one must know. And Clarissa, don't forget sometimes your greatest demon is not a memory or thought, but something physical, do not fear for you shall find yours; you are very strong."

"Thank you for everything and I promise not to say a word about this," Suddenly a thought occurred to me. Jace was an amazing warrior, Raziel had said it himself. "It's Saint Michael the Archangel, isn't it."

I never did get a true answer because Raziel dodged the question. "You really do your homework, don't you?" And then everything went black and when I opened my eyes I was in the small, musty stone room again.

* * *

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	15. Chapter 15

**Heyyyyy!**

** I know I'm late but it's because for three days I hate no Internet! Sorry guys! But I did finish my 'M' rated series 'Going with the Flow' I just wanted to say that series was supposed to be long (14-16 chpts) but I lost interest so I basically shoved all my endings in the last chapter. Check it out! Also 'When words are in these' it means my characters are think-talking just saying. K bye and enjoy!**

**TMI BELONGS TO CASSIE CL****ARE**

* * *

As soon as I woke up I could hear my mother's distraught voice in my head. Ignoring the erratic throbbing in my head -and probably many broken bones, I replied.

'Im okay, I'm here. I just lost a lot of blood and when I started to pass out I thought I was gone. I'm okay now." So maybe it was a lie, but it was believable and practical.

'Thank the angels!' She has no idea. ' How close are you? Do you want to come back another time? We should abort.'

'No, Ithuriel is near me. I'll see you soon.' Picking my aching body off the ground I walked to the small chamber. Looking in through the cell doors, I found Ithuriel huddled in the corner.I looked at the large lock on the doors and smirked. Worst security ever. Well, maybe not Agramon. That was quite clever, and painful, and a nightmare, literally. I pulled out my stele and drew the special opening rune I created. It was like and opening rune, but it had much more power.

I looked closer at Ithuriel and gasped. I three the door open and held my frail, bloody hand to my mouth. What I thought was his body was actually his wings cuddling him. His face was so pale, and it was apparent he was beyond suffering.

"Ithuriel, oh my angel." I dropped to the floor as exhaustion took over.

'Hello Clarissa. I've never been able to get a full picture of you in my head, but my, are your beautiful.' His voice was so melodic. It was like a thousand birds singing in union.

This kind angel was near death and he was complimenting me. I couldn't take his life, not for Jonathan, not for anyone. Ithuriel has already given me his blood before; I couldn't take more. Especially since he was being tortured, and I knew how that felt.

I crawled to Ithuriel with the last of my strength. I was so exhausted, but just a few more minutes, I told myself.

'They're chains made of the devil, Clarissa. You have so much angel-blood if you touch it, it will burn you more than the demon whip your father used to inflict on you.' Ouch, that's going burn like hell.

"I owe it to you." Hesitantly I raised my hand and I touched the chains. My hand burned and I pulled away. Small bubbles of skin arose. Had Ithuriel been locked in these for years? Mustering up all my determination, I quickly grabbed the chains and drew an opening rune. My mind told me to stop, but I continued. The chains fell to the floor and Ithuriel smiled. I looked at my hands and saw that they looked as if someone poured gasoline on them and then lit them on fire.

'Thank you, Clarissa. I know why you actually came and do not fear, I will help you.' Ithuirel disappeared and the I fell on the cold, hard ground. The house began to rumble and shake. My eyes shot open, but I couldn't will my body to move.

Pieces of crumbled building fell around me. I was going to die, and I just had to accept it.

Suddenly a voice came into my head. 'Clarissa, run, get out.' My mother screamed. I tried on multiple occasions to lift my body, but I couldnt. I layed there and closed my eyes. I had my brother's cure in arms reach, but I couldn't will myself to take it. I freed a tortured angel and I found out about my real parents and heritage. I met the love of my life, and now, I was ready to die. I lived long enough.

Right before I was about to fall asleep, I heard another voice in my head call out to me. It wasn't my mother, it was Ithuriel. Opening my eyes, I saw him place me on the wet grass outside of the falling manor. He kissed my head, and once again vanished.

Feeling as if I had a new-found energy, I picked myself of and limped over to everyone. They all looked at me and I smiled. I felt alive. That was until my minimal energy dropped to zero and I fell on the grass.

Everyone ran over to me and Magnus began shouting orders. Everyone was so tense I felt like I had to make everyone a little happier. "I killed a greater demon."

Jace looked at me in shock and everyone stopped what they were doing, even Magnus. "Which one?"

"Agramon, the demon of fear." Still smiling I felt my eyelids close and I fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up slowly, flickering in and out of consciousness multiple times. Finally I decided I should open my eyes, even though I knew where I was going to be. Just as I suspected I was in the infirmary. However I did not expect the couch beside me to be occupied. Peering over the raised bed I saw Jace sleeping. He always looked so tense and alert, but when he slept he looked so vulnerable. Something I really didn't expect was for Isabelle and Alec to be huddled on the bed beside me. Maybe Izzy I could expect, but Alec? No. He seemed to hate me.

Slipping out of bed I tried to not wake anyone. I realized as I got out of bed, there was a small IV in my arm. I ripped the IV out and a loud screeching noise erupted throughout the Institute. I screamed and fell to the floor and as fast as it started, it stopped. That did not help my migraine. I curled into a small ball on my floor and covered my eyes with my tiny hands like a little girl. Someone began tugging them and I let go.

"Really, Clarissa?" Magnus looked at me from the other side of the room with my mother, Maryse, Robert, and Luke, all armed. Looking over, I Alec sheathing his weapon along with Isabelle who was wrapping her whip back on her wrist. Looking to my right I saw Jace smirking while he shook his head. He plucked me off of the floor as if I weighed nothing, which I probably did. Gently putting me back in the bed he kissed my forehead.

"I told you she'd do that. But nobody listened! She's Clary for the love of angels! She doesn't like to sit down, lay down, or relax for that matter." Alec grumbled.

Smiling I pointed at Alec. "You know me so well, Lightwood."

"Anyways," Magnus intervened. "we couldn't find the angel-blood, Clary. Where is it?"

Shit. I made a face and then smiled guilty at everyone. "Well, when I went to the basement I saw Ithuriel and he was being tortured. I couldn't bring myself to kill him, he was so hurt. I-I set him free." For a long moment nobody said anything and I looked into everyone's eyes, pleading for someone to say something.

When Jace said exactly what I knew he was going to say, I looked down ashamed. "The angels don't care about us, they only care about themselves. If they cared they would destroy Valentine, but they haven't because they don't care."

"That's not true, Jace! One day a miracles going to happen and you see, they are our protectors, our friends. I couldn't let him die like that. Jace, you and I know what it's like to be tortured, you know! How could you say that I should just leave him? To just kill him!" My screaming echoed through the massive infirmary and sudden burst of pain went trough my body. My face twisted and I curled into another ball. Tears streamed down my eyes and I fell against the bed.

Magnus ran to the bed and looked down on me. When he opened his eyes he looked at everyone. "Jace give me your knife." Without even seeing it, the knife was in Magnus' hands and then swiped across my shirt. "She has a strong demon-poison in her. Agramon hid it very well and I didn't notice it until now. Give me those surgical tools, Maryse! Alec and Isabelle, call the Silent Brothers immediately, Maryse and Robert go back to my house and grab a small green vile on my desk in the study, Jocelyn and Luke wait outside of the infirmary. Go now!"

"Jace," Magnus motioned for Jace to come closer. "Hold her down. This is going to hurt, a lot."

* * *

Somewhere in-between the agony I fell asleep and when I woke up I could barely see. I blinked furiously trying to get the bluriness out of my eyes. Looking around the infirmary, I saw no one. I picked myself up into a sitting position and called out into the darkness. I assessed myself and found that my leg arm arm were both casted, both on my left side.

"Hello! Is anybody here?" Feeling depleted after not receiving an answer, I painfully moved the sheets aside and set my feet on the ground beside my bed. As expected my weight gave away becuse of my cast and I feel to the floor with a 'thump'. Damn it. I looked around the room for something, anything.

I spotted a black wheelchair in the corner of the room and smiled in content. I crawled impishly to the wheelchair smirking broadly the whole time. Oh, how Magnus would kill me right now crawling around the room after just waking up from surgery. When I was about two meters away my body started to get extreme weak and tired. I only made it a meter more before I collapsed on the floor. Spotting a fallen crutch beside me I grabbed it with my right arm pointed it towards the wheelchair.

After many failed attempts I finally managed to shove the crutch in-between two spikes in the chair. I pulled the chair towards me and started laughing like a manic when I had the chair in arms reach. I pulled it closer to me and hauled myself onto it. I've outsmarted Magnus again! Who was he to try and put me on bed rest? Screw that, screw him.

Wheeling myself to the infirmary door I was all pissed off when my stupid leg kept hitting the door and because my whole leg was casted and pointing straight ahead of me my hand couldn't reach the handle, so I was stuck in the infirmary.

"Damn it!" I screeched, and my small voice echoed throughout the infirmary. I wouldn't give up after all that work. I backed my wheelchair up and rammed into the door several times before I knocked the whole thing off the hinges. Smiling in content, I wheeled myself over the broken door with a massive hole where my cast had rammed through it.

"Hello! Is anybody home?" I called out again. This time I heard whispers and voices that sounded like my friends. I heard a snicker, that probably belonged to Alec.

I heard the racing feet of people climbing up the stairs. Alec, Isabelle, Maryse, Jace, Luke, Magnus, and my mother all came running up the stairs. I smiled brightly at them when they saw the broken door with a hole going through the middle of it, and wood chips in my cast.

"We're you the ones who tried to leave me in there." I stated boredly.

"My angels, Clarissa." My mother muttered.

"Nobody listens to me! I told you to take out the wheelchairs!" Alec looked around flabbergasted.

Jace just had his signature smirk and ruffled my hair. "That's my strawberry shortcake!"

"What?" Izzy muttered, with a confused look on her face.

"Allow me to explain my logic. Her hair does look like a strawberry, no offense Jocelyn."

My mother only shrugged and smiled. "None taken."

"You are quite short, Clare."

I started at Jace while the others laughed. "I am of average height!"

"Yeah, maybe for an elf," Jace continued, "and you're quite sweet, just like cake!" Jace bowed his head while everyone laughed and snickered, even my mother, while I pouted and crossed my arms like a five year old.

"Rude." I hit Jace across his chest and tried not to smile.

"Oh come on, you know you can't resist this god." He gestured to his body and kissed my head.

The funny thing was he was right, I couldn't resist Jace.

* * *

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	16. Chapter 16

**Hey!**

**So I know I'm a few days late sorry! But here it is! Also the series will be 20-22 chapters for sure! Thanksyour the support everyone. I truly appreciate it especially because this is my first fanfiction !**

**Evi: because I wanted to story to be completely different and unique. :)**

* * *

The next few days passed with blur. It had seemed my mom had been mostly healded from the dark magics. I healed pretty fast and was able to take my casts off, too.

Jace, Isabelle, Alec, and I were all watching a movie in the great room. I had my head propped up on Jace's lap and he was stroking my hair tenderly. Alec and Isabelle were to the left of us fighting, again.

"What the hell Alec! It's not even that loud!" Screamed Isabelle as she reached for the remote. She grabbed a large amount of Alec's hair and pulled.

"Ow! Isabelle, you little-" Alec's retort was cut short when the doors to the great room flew open and the sirens went off.

Everyone in the room sprung into action. Jace was shouting orders at Alec and Isabelle, all while holding my hand in a tight grip. Both Isabelle and Alec opened a massive closet door and threw on the spare changes of shadowhunter gear, not even caring about modesty. Jace dragged me to the closet while Alec and Isabelle were loading up on weapons. Jace passed me a change of cloths and weapons belt. He began changing and I tried my best to focus on getting my legs through the leg holes and not his sculpted chest.

Being in an Institute was all new for me; Valentine was on the run from the Clave so naturally we weren't on the Institute guest list. All I knew in this moment was something was happening and I should just listen to Jace. That didn't stop me from curious, though.

"Whats going on Jace?" I asked, as I grabbed two seraph blades and a dagger and shoved them in my belt.

"The Silent City is under attack. They're signaling for all avaliable shadowhunters for help."

"But, Jonathan is down there! Oh my angel!" I pulled out my stele and drew a new rune. It was a portal rune.

"Go, Iz and I will stay here to watch the Institute." Alec shouted over the sirens. He grabbed Izzy and together, they ran to the front doors.

I jumped through first, followed by Jace. We arrived right outside of the cemetery. Jace and I both glamoured ourselves so mundies wouldn't see us. We dashed to the angel statue and opened it, revealing the staircase to the Silent City.

We sprinted down the stairs and through the City looking for any signs of disturbance. We heard the shouts of many men and woman coming from the holding and prison cells. Picking up the pace, we ran into seven Silent Brothers and twenty shadowhunters. The room was packed and people began shouting orders. The voice of Brother Cimon reverberated in our minds, stopping all of us, and the other shadowhunters coming to the cells, in our tracks.

'Place two guards outside the door and five more at the entrance of the Silent City. Clarissa Morgenstern and Jonathan Herondale, please come forward. We apoligize for the inconvenience , we we're Ina panic when we rang.'

"What? Why would we leave a Morgenstern with you, brother? She's merely a teenage shadowhunter, she cannot protect you, the Herondale boy too!"

'Believe it or not, they could assassinate all of you, I'd watch what you'd say, Marcus Greywill.'

Nodding, the shadowhunters exited the room, not bothering to conceal each nasty glances at Jace and I. Jace and I stepped forward after all the other people had left the room. This left Jace and I with seven Silent Brothers. I could tell two were still in training because they didn't have as many runes as the others.

"What can I do for you, Brother Cimon?" I asked with curiosity. I put both hands on my hips and I saw Jace had his arms crossed in my peripheral vision.

'Your brother has changed. We took his blood this evening to check for any change or difference in the amount of demon poison, only to find none at all. Instead we found that the same levels of demon blood are now angel blood.'

I cocked my head to the side and smirked. "I was excepting this to happen sooner, Brother Cimon." I silently sent a prayer to Ithuriel.

* * *

'Come, we shall go retrieve the mortal sword.' Brother Cimon said, his hand gripped his staff. Even though the Silent Brothers aren't meant for combat I had no doubt he would hesitate to knock the crap out of me. Together Brother Cimon and I walked the hallways of the Silent City. The beautiful marble was exquisite, but I didn't want to touch it. In the marble lies the ashes of fallen shadowhunters. So basically the Silent City was a massive grave.

Brother Cimon lead me to the trial hall of the Silent City. I've been here enough, now to know what to except. I stood in the middle of the room and retrieved the sword from Brother Cimon. As Brother Cimon went to sit on his massive - and completely immodest chair, Brother Enoch spoke.

'Clarissa Morgenstern, explain why this happened to your brother, Jonathan Morgenstern.'

"Well," I began in a bored tone, "I met Ithuriel and he told me he would help me." Nothing happned to the mortal sword. The things was, the sword only detected lies, technically I just left the details out. I did meet Ithuriel and he did say he would help me, no lies, just wormholes. Or massive mining holes.

'She tells the truth, lthuriel saved her brother. It is a blessing from the angel of Ithuriel and she shall recieve it.' Spoke Brother Enoch.

I handed the sword back to a Silent Brother whom I didn't recognize. Together Jace and I followed Brother Cimon back to the cells. He led us past the glaring shadowhunters and in front of a tiny cell door.

I hesitated for only a second before I looked over my shoulder and saw my brother. He obviously recognized me because he stood there staring at me through black eyes while he ran his hand through his silvery white hair. His eyes were different, though. His eyes used to like an endless pit of darkness - no doubt from the demon poison. But if you looked at them now I could swear I could see slight spikes of green lining his pupils.

I didn't realize Brother Cimon left, but when he came back he had massive keys at hand. He unlocked the cell door and exited the room. Both Jonathan and I still never moved. I found my brother! After all those years growing up with crappy 'parents' and wishing I had a family,I finally found my brother.

I nearly forgot Jace was there until he nudged me forward and spoke lightly in my ear. "Go on, I'll wait outside." He kissed my temple and as soon as I heard the doors shut I ran into Jonathan's arms.

For a minute he didn't return the gesture and when he did he hesitated. "I feel, Clary. I'm not angry and pissed anymore, I feel!" He hugged me even tighter and I started crying all over his broad chest. "I love, too. I never knew this is how emotions felt. I saw you and I-I I felt happy and nervous… and love. I love you, Clare, so much."

"I love you too." I snugged into his chest and when I pulled away I noticed a massive patch of liquid of my chest where my shirt was. "Sorry." I sheepishly apologized.

"Who gives a crap." He grabbed my head and kissed it. "I guess I have to make up for all those years that I left you alone, huh."

With one last hug Jace walked in and smiled genuinely when he saw me so happy. "It's time to go back to the Institute. Jonathan will come, the only way to get him out was to agree to put you on… probation you could say. You show up here every morning and night and that's it."

"Thanks." Joanthan responded while he led me to the doors hand in hand. As we passed Jace I grabbed his hand with my left. We both smiled al each other and I squeezed both of their hands tighter.

For the first time in a long time I felt complete I had my brother and Jace. It felt right, even with all the worries in the world I just knew: these two boys will be they forever.

* * *

When we got back to the Institute everyone was there. When mum saw Jonathan she squealed like a five year old. After a short discussion Mum, Jonathan, and I went to the library.

"How did you get yourself involved with Ithuriel, Clary? It's not everyday an angel cures a demon. I had a feeling it was because of you." Jonathan grinned and I smirked in response.

"Well, I might have had something to do with it." I explained the whole story and Jonathan didn't interrupt once.

"That's my little sister." He reached over and rubbed the top of my head causing a massive knot to arise.

Mum then cut it with pure curiosity in her voice. "How do you feel now, hun?"

"I feel much better. When I had all of that demon blood coursing through my views it was really hard for me to focus and at times very painful, but now," Jonathan shook his head, "I feel amazing. I feel happy, loved, excited, every emotional mortals complain about. It's not all anger and violence. I feel good." Together we all smiled and hugged like one big dysfunctional family.

We talked late into the night until we decided to go to sleep. After saying my goodbyes, I ran up into Jace's room before anyone could see. I looked over at the bed and found Jace asleep. I slipped off my clothes and put on the shirt he left folded for me on my side of my bed.

I opened the covers slowly trying not to wake Jace up and crawled into bed beside him. I smiled when I saw the small cut he had on his cheek that he got last week.

He got up at seven after going to sleep at near four in the morning. He was so tired he tripped over the leg of a chair and fell straight into the wall.

I clamped my hand over my mouth to try and contain in my giggles. A small sequel escaped.

"What?" Jace asked while he opened a sleepy eye. I didn't say anything and just smiled as I saw the small chipped tooth. I felt him grab my hand under the blankets and I smiled sleepily. He kissed my head and spoke so softly I almost thought I misheard him. "You know I love you more than anything I ever had, or ever will, right?"

"Of course I know that. You know that I love you just as much, even more?" I murmured into his lean chest.

"Impossible." Was all Jace whispered before we both fell asleep peacefully. One day, I hoped this could happen every night. I wished I could fall asleep in my true love's arms.

* * *

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	17. Chapter 17

**Hello wonderfuls!**

**So, I'm working on chapter 19 and you'll see when it comes out I really love Jace's character. At the beginning I didn't explain the characters, but now I can't get anywhere because just want to make sarcastic jokes! It looks like the series will be 19 chapters with a possible epilogue! Thanks everyone XOXO**

**TMI BELONGS TO CASSIE CLARE**

* * *

I woke up silently and went to reach out for Jace, but my hand just hit the mattress. Startled I jumped up and searched the room. I was always up before Jace. I saw nothing out of place, but in Jace's room nothing was ever out place, anyways.

"I think someone misses me too much." A male voice said from the opposite side of the room.

"Holy crap! Jace, what the hell?" I looked at him in shock and he smiled brightly. Rolling my eyes, I cuddled back in the bed, "You scared me, I'm always up before you."

"Clary, it's already nine. I took a shower." I felt the bed tilt a bit. Jace grabbed the sheets and ripped them off me.

"I'm still tired. Go away." I started flaying my arms in the arms like a little kid. I mumbled very rude things into my pillow and insisted he gave me my blanket back.

"You just brutally murdered my ego. Let's go, shower time." Before I could protest Jace slammed his hand on my mouth and heaved me over his shoulder. I kicked and wiggled, but he just grabbed my legs. He opened the bathroom door and set me on the steps of the bathtub.

"How about a bath instead? I dont think sleepy Clary can stand in a shower for five minutes." He chuckled and held a bottle in front of my face, "I got your favorite bubble bath! I used some myself," he stuck his hand in my face, "smell the jellybean?"

Jace started a warm bath and put the jellybean bubbles in. He set out my favorite lavender shampoo, conditioner, and soap. He left a soft white towel beside the bath. I smiled at Jace and kissed his cheek.

"If sleepy Clary is too tired to get undressed…" He smirked and when he saw my face he put his hands up in a surrendering motion and smiled. "Someday, someday." Once I heard the door click, I scrambled out of my clothes and stepped in the warm bubble-bath. I sighed in the warm bath and wondered what I would do without Jace.

After my bath, I wrapped the around myself and went to my new room in the institute. It was much bigger than my old temporary room, and it was across from Jace's. There was a small closet, a large connecting bathroom, and a nice sitting area near the windows. I looked at the clothes in my closet and remembered Jace was wearing his shadowhunter gear. I threw mine on ,too, and loaded my weapons belt.

I walked down the stairs into the kitchen. My brother was sitting in a stool at the counter with Jace and Alec, watching as Isabelle made breakfast with disgusted faces. She smiled brightly at me when I entered the vile smelling kitchen. The boys faces begged for help.

"Hey Clary! I couldn't find the baking soda so I just mixed flour and Sprite. I also couldn't find syrup so I just mixed sugar and water and put some chocolate in it to make it brown! Oh yeah-" I took the jar of 'syrup' and the plate of 'pancakes' and 'accidentally' knocked them of the counter.

"Oh my angel! I'm so sorry Isabelle! Angel, I'm such a klutz. I'll make breakfast, you just sit down and relax." I sat her down on her stool beside Jonathan and they both started talking. Sighing, I picked up eggs and cinnamon. "French toast, anyone?" All four hands shot up.

* * *

"Where's Hodge?" Jonathan asked abruptly.

We all set our forks down and looked at Joanthan with curiosity. Maryse, Robert, Luke, and my mom all looked at each other and stood on the opposite side of the counter.

"He's been sick for a few weeks. I didn't even tell him you were here yet! I'd better go tell him, actually." Maryse pushed off the counter, but Jonathan was in front of her with his hands on her shoulders.

"No, don't say anything. Tell him to come downstairs. Don't tell him anything. Just say Clary made breakfast for him. Go, now." Maryse nodded and glided up the stairs without questions. Clary, Jace," Jonathan called out. "Sit at the counter talking. As if you were waiting for Hodge. Everyone else hide in the shadows, weapons ready."

Everyone quickly did as he said. "Jonathan, what's going on?" I was scared, very scared. But I wouldn't show it, of course. Showing fear was a weakness.

Jonathan spoke softly from the shadows. "I just finished putting the pieces together. Hodge is working for Valentine. There was someone in the Institute that was feeding information about you to Valetnine, Clary. It was Hodge, I realized it after I thought about something Valentine once said. It's Hodge. Wait, he's coming, be quiet."

Sure enough we heard two sets of footsteps and when Hodge got the kitchen it took all of my will not to punch him right there. Maryse strategically blocked the exit and Hodge smiled at me.

"Thank you for-" I would never hear what Hodge had to say because in the moment my brother jumped out of the shadows. He held a sharp knife to Hodge's throat.

"Don't talk to my sister." Jonathan then grabbed Hodge's wrist with his hand and cut a large slit on the inside of his wrist. Black blood poured from his wrist. "Just as I thought. Valentine turned you into one of his pathetic minions. Let me guess, Valentine said becoming a demon-shadowhunter would take away the curse that ties you to this Institute because technically you're not a true shadowhunter."

"You have no idea what he did for me!" Hodge screamed and punched Jonathan. Jonathan loosened his grip. Hodge and shoved his wrist in my mouth. Demon-blood poured into my mouth and, let me tell you, it hurt. I bit him but all that did was make more cuts.

Hodge grabbed a dagger from my belt and cut his other hand. He wiped demon blood over every exposed part of my body. Yup, even my face. I cried out in pain and fell to the floor.

"Nobody moves or I kill her." Hodge thrust the dagger in front of my throat. "One slit, that's All it takes."

I don't know what happened. I just suddenly realized that I was the only one who could ultimately save myself and that right now, I was doing the opposite. I stood back up on feet and tried not to fall over. I composed my features I tried to smile through the pain. I was actually starting to believe I was crazy.

"It actually doesn't hurt that much." I shrugged and a series of pain went through me.

"What?" Hodge asked in as much shock as I was in pain. His hand moved slightly when he asked me and I made my move.

I grabbed his hand and twisted it until it broke. I kicked him in the gut before he had time to react and once I kicked him one final time to the floor Jonathan handcuffed him to the steel pole on the counter.

Jace rushed over to me and began to wipe the demon-blood off my fragile skin. "Angelum meum, qui fortiores sunt." Jace murmured into my red hair. Normally I would need to ask what it meant but I already knew: "My little angel, you are so brave."

* * *

After taking the most painful jellybean bath of my life, I called for Isabelle to bring me some clothes. Instead I got Jace. He gave my roots pants along with one of his shirts I 'borrowed'. I changed quickly while he turned his back. When I was done he picked me up. The only places that weren't burning because of the aftermath of demon-blood was my legs and where my tank was. Even my freakn' feet hurt. Next time in walking around in combat boots.

With each bump I would flinch and Jace would whisper soothing things in my burnt ear. I wanted to just iratze myself up but Jace got all grumpy and said "No, you'll have scars forever. Alec call Magnus. I'll start her bath." When we finally got to the infirmary, he laid me down on the bed and kissed me on the lips.

"That hurt." I croaked. Jace just smiled lightly with Magnus standing beside him.

"My lord, Clary. Everyday im here. I might as well rent a damn room!" He looked at me and made a face. "But my, does your face look nasty."

"Magnus," Alec strode over to Magnus and put a hand on Magnus'. "please, just do this."

Magnus kissed Alec. Alec blushed furiously and looked at something else and made a face. I followed his gaze and saw my brother stroking Isabelle's hair and she cried in his arms. Talk about awkward.

Magnus put his hands on my now bare stomach. "As always this is going to hurt, my dear." I attempted to smile as Jace grabbed my hand and stroked my hair. Alec grabbed my other hand and nodded to Magnus. Maybe I was getting used to this pain thing, because it didn't seem to hurt as much.

When Magnus was done I hoped off the bed and tipped over. "Woaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. Oh my angels! Alec looks so sexy right now. But not as much as Jace. Not as much as me! I… I really hate cats. And dogs... And ducks!-" I tipped over and landed on the floor. I giggled uncontrollably on the floor.

"I might have given her way too much morphine." Alec looked at the liquid beside him. "Shit, I gave her double."

I grabbed Jace's ankles and he sighed. "Clary, let's go to bed."

"No!" I knew I sounded like a little girl, but I wanted to have fun. "I want to go streaking!"

I started lifting my shirt up and Jace grabbed me. "Magnus, now please."

I heard the snap of fingers before I fell asleep.

* * *

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	18. Chapter 18

**Okay, here's the thing, I know I missed a week and updated a short instead, but I was busy and this chapter was incomplete. Check it out by the way. So next week I am going to skip a week and then update again so not the Sat coming bt the next. K? Okay. That's all, bye!**

**TMI BELONGS TO CASSIE CLARE**

* * *

I woke up to the soft sound of wind. My eyelids fluttered opened and I cocked my head to the side to try and get a view of my surrondings.I vaguely remembered the morphine accident last night. I put my hands to my face. How could I face them. Angels, everything I do ends up horribly.

I threw the sheets back and saw that my skin was fully healed, my mouth also tasted normal again. I walked to my door and heard the strangest noise. It sounded like Jace was outside my room after his run. Why wasn't he coming in?

I whipped the door open. "Jace, why-" Isabelle and Jonathan let go of each other. All over Jon's face was cherry lipstick. And I mean all over, he looked like a tomato. "Holy shit!"'

Jonathan's face got really red and he stuttered. "Uh m-mom called f-for me." Jon scrambled to pick up his fallen bag and ran down the corridor faster than a lightning bolt.

I turned to Isabelle who looked like she didn't even give two shits. "Listen Isabelle, I really don't mean to be offensive, but he's my brother so I have to say this. You've been with a lot of guys, and then you dump them like they're nothing an break their hearts. I just got my brother back, don't make me lose him again." I looked at Isabelle pleadingly.

What I got in response was definitely not what I expected. "So you're calling me a heartless player. Real nice, Clary. I mean what should I expect, you are a Morgenstern. Craziness runs in your veins. I don't know what Jace sees in you, honestly. You're just a little useless girl who didn't know about anything in the shadow world until only months ago. Now your suddenly a prodigy. Seriously, you're more messed than I am so don't go around judging me."

I was pissed, real pissed. Where was this even coming from? All I asked was for her to not break my brother's heart. "I honestly don't know what I ever did to make you hate me. I just don't want to lose the family that I forgot, found out was a demon or used magic and lost their mind, rekindled with them, only to be lost again. So screw you, you heartless wench. I thought you were my friend, Isabelle. You've been so kind, but now..." I shook my head and looked at her straight in the eye. "You'll be lucky if Lilith even accepts you. I'll be going to the Pandemonium."

For a spilt second Isabelle's composure faltered, but that's all I needed to know that I got to her. I smiled slightly and stepped backs to close the door. I sat on my bed and looked blankly at the wall. She had been so nice to be the past few weeks. What changed?

Guilt started to overpower my anger, but I didn't let it control me. I pushed it to the back of my mind as a memory flashed before me eyes.

I was sitting in the living room at the Morgenstern manor, staring out the window. I thought that maybe if it willed the angels enough, they would give me Luke back. It wasn't Luke's fault he became a werewolf, it just happened. I felt horrible for leaving Luke out there to die after all he's done for me. I small tear rolled down my cheek and I quickly swiped it away. No weaknesses.

The heavy footsteps of my father approached me. I braced myself for the blow I knew was coming. As I expected it came with brute force. I lay sprawled on the floor with my chest heaving up and down whilst my father's follow-up blows continued. I willed myself not to let the screams rise.

As always my father read my mind. "Do not feel guilty for Luke. He's a downworlder now, Clarissa. He deserves to die." Valentine whispered in my bloody ear. When I didn't answer he struck me again. "Answer me!", he roared.

"Yes, Father." I replied as confident as I possibly could.

"Clean this up," he kicked my side once more, as if checking if I was dead, "and go to your room. I don't want to see your face. Training is at four tomorrow don't be late again."

"Yes, Father." I responded. Valentine exited the room, and as soon as the door shut, I sat up painfully and clutched my rib - that was no doubt broken - with my life.

Isabelle had no right to act like that. I had never done anything wrong. What she didn't know was I wasn't the frail girl that showed up at the Institute anymore, I was a threat. I was the feared.

* * *

I was still mad, like get-out-of-my-face-or-I-will-punch-you mad. I changed into my black shadowhunting pants and jacket with a new black hunting shirt compliments of my brother. I stashed my weapons in all the crooks in my gear and made my way to the kitchen.

I threw the door open to find Jonathan, Isabelle, Jace, and Alec sitting in the kitchen. I walked past Jace and Aec who were sitting on the counter, and Jonthan, who was standing in the corner. Walking towards Isabelle - who was cooking - I decided it would be nice to rile her up.

"Smells like someone died. Oh, Isabelle's cooking." I faked a small smile, and batted my eyelashes. "Sometimes you just can't tell the difference. I knocked her shoulder as I went reach for an apple.

"Do you mind?" She looked at me as though I was a demon. Yeah, like I'm scared of her.

I paused for a moment and brought my hand to my chin as if in deep thought. "No, but you appear to take things way to personally." I took a large bite of my apple and then dropped the rest in her cooking pot of crap. "Whoops."

I turned around and smiled at the boys. "Be home later, boys."

As I left the kitchen I heard Jace whisper to Alec. "Did we miss something?"

As I stormed out of the Institue I tied my hair up in a tight ponytail. I drew a few runes on my arms to aide in my hunt and walked to the Pandemonium.

The walk was long and boring. I was dying to get there faster so I took a small shortcut through an alley, drew an invisibility rune, silence rune, and started running.

With the wind blowing gently across my face and with my legs pumping fast I began letting off some anger. I wasn't even winded when I finally got to the Pandemonium. Maybe I really should start training with Jace more; it seemed to help. Of course, I couldn't just tell him that. He'd mock me for ages. I guess in some ways I'm still by myself.

I've always had to fend for myself and defend myself. I put up so many walls to block myself from others, and for years it worked. I had no one to talk to but myself, not even God. It was torture to get up every day and know that I was alone in the world. Especially when I found about who I really was and my past. Still, sometimes I think I don't belong.

Isabelle, Jace, and Alec love each other so much, no one can break that bond. Simon and I, well, we've forgiven each other, but sometimes things get awkward and there's no way I could confide in him. Then my mom and brother, our love was mutual, but still I've never known them and suddenly they're a big part in my life. Luke is still my fatherly figure, but it's not the same. And then there was Jace. It wasn't a secret that I was in love with him. I broke my biggest lesson: To love is to destory and to be loved is the one to be destroyed. However. Didn't know how Jace felt about me. One second he was caring and open, other times he's just normal Jace. What, does he think I'm a mindreader?

I sat against the wall next to the Pandemonium. I didn't want to hunt anymore. I just wanted to go back. I picked myself off the ground and rounded the corner. I almost screamed in panic, but I managed to clear my face and contain my screams.

"What do you want, Father?" I sneered, I took a few steps closer and pulled out two blades to create and illusion that I wasn't scared.

The demons around Valentine opened so I could see him. "You."

"Well, you cant have me, not after what you've done. What is it that you want me for?" I asked curiously.

"To aide me in my quest, Clarissa. Together we could be invincible." He beckoned me closer. "Together we can rule."

"Together?" I took another step closer.

"You would never have to be in the shadows, my dear." Valentine responded, "Together we can rule this world. I would be by your side, and never abandon you. I've found a way to create demon shadowhunters, dear. We can rule!"

"Truely?"

"Yes." I looked in his eyes, searching for deception. However all I saw was caring eyes. I nodded and walked straight into his arms.

"I accept." I pulled back and together, we walked through a small portal. I've done it, I've tricked Valentine Morgenstern.

* * *

The portal took us to a house. It was beautiful, and despite how classy and old-fashioned Valentine was, it was quite modern. With a glassy table and staircase it made Valentine look out of place.

"It's beautiful." I stated and quickly closed my mouth when I realized my mistake.

"There is no such thing as beauty, Clarissa. Not in this world." He looked at me for a second, almost like he was trying to shovel out my soul.

"Oh course, Father. Forgive me."

"I've done wrong in the past, Clarissa. After I drove me family away I vowed I would change."

"How, Father?"

"By taking my own advice." I stood there completely clueless until it kicked in.

"To love is to destory." I whispered, whilst looking at him in shock. He wouldn't. Would he?

"It's time to die, daughter. I love you too much." He pulled out a long-sword. Though shadowhunter could die, we couldn't be harmed by our own weapons. To kill each other you cannot use a seraph weapons. "Rest well."

This was not happening. It's kind of dorky, but I seriously pinched myself three times. "I'm your daughter."

"Yes, and you have been a terrible one. Disloyal, disobedient, and most of all, worthless." He stood straight and tall, like a staute. I, however, faltered.

I was used to people walking over me, telling me I was nothing. But I'm not the same anymore. I told myself I would change, now I just hoped it was for the better.

"I am not worthless. I am not a doormat nor a coward. I am a warrior of the night." I could feel it, the energy building up in me. "I will never give in. I will fight until my death." my eyes shot up to my Father's, and for a second he looked taken back, "I am nephilim. So, angels help me, because I won't give in. Not anymore."

'My bond with you is growing. I am able to give you something, Clarissa.' The familiar voice of Raziel spoke in my head. 'Open your hand, dear.'

I did as he said. I felt a cool blade in my hand. I looked down and my eyes nearly fell out because of the weapons beauty.

I was gold, unlike the regular glass-like seraph blades. On the hilt it was beautifully decorated with silver vines And different colored quartz on the vines. The blade felt right. Many weapons I used were just weapons, but this... It wasn't just a weapon, it was like an extension of my arm, I knew how to use it.

I felt so confident. Like anything in the world was possible. I was ready to defeat my inner demon.

I raised my eyes to meet Valentine's. His mouth was open, his eyes showing shock for the first time. His eyes drifted from my blade to me.

"How…?" His sentence was never finished, but I knew what he was thinking.

I spun the blade in my hand. "I believe, that's how."

We circled each other for a few seconds, but soon we were battling full speed ahead.

* * *

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